I’m not going to blow smoke and tell you that I’ve always wanted you to coach at Ohio State. In fact, there was a long time, once you accepted the Florida Gators position, that I flat out did not like you and didn’t want to hear your name mentioned in the news, as it seemed to be every five minutes. Your first, half-assed retirement annoyed me and the story about you stealing a recruit from OSU after telling him that you dreamt that he was a Gator…give me a break. However, as a Buckeye fan who just watched a pathetic excuse for a game, I am willing to step up, be a man, and beg for you to come to Columbus in 2012.
Schools, especially in the Big Ten, often talk about wanting their coach to be an Ohio man. While this isn’t a necessity, it certainly goes a long way in getting the fan base excited about having someone that knows and understands the program. You were born in Toledo, played your college football at the University of Cincinnati, and have coached at Ohio State and Bowling Green. Sounds like an Ohio guy to me, but that’s not where my sales pitch ends, it’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Luke Fickell is an Ohio guy as well, and one that I truly do admire and respect, but he has shown already that this position has been a bit more than he can handle. Someday, he may be able to step in and be a confident leader that gets the best out of his players and draws up a gameplan to fit them, but right now that is not the case. You, on the other hand, should be foaming at the mouth looking at this situation. We’re not asking you to come in and start from scratch and rebuild a program, no sir. What we need from you is to use that offensive mind of yours to get us onto the scoreboard with more than 10 seconds left in a ballgame.
As I mentioned, we’re not handing you SMU after the death penalty and telling you to win. We’re giving you an offensive line that needs some work, I’ll give you that, but along with that you get: a sophomore quarterback who was regarded as the best dual-threat QB in his recruiting class, a stable of highly recruited tailbacks (one senior, two juniors, a sophomore, and two of the top freshmen in the nation), a senior fullback who takes pride in destroying linebackers, a senior tight end that may be one of the best/most athletic in the country, and more talented sophomore and junior wide receivers than you’ll know what to do with. Let’s not forget that this is just the crew that you will be inheriting and does not include those that will leave the south (speed states) to come to Columbus simply by hearing that you’ll be the head coach, and feel free to tell them that you dreamt about them being Buckeyes…just don’t do that too often, since it is very creepy.
People often view you as an offensive guy only, but you played defensive back in school and have coached linebackers as well. We won’t leave you hanging on defense either. In fact, go ahead and watch some game film of our defense this year and simply ignore #42, Andrew Sweat, as he is the only senior starter for the Silver Bullets right now. We have guys that can make big plays and have the typical defensive swagger that you want to see, but imagine how much more swagger they can have when they don’t have to pitch a shutout every game in order to win. Fickell and Vrabel might be a heck of a tandem to help coach the defense, just as long as you find a replacement for Bollman on offense.
The cupboard is full, we just need a better cook. Think it over. I’m not looking for an answer right now, but maybe get back to me tomorrow so that we can start spreading the word to all high schoolers out there and can add a few more rings to your collection. I’ll even get online and start looking at homes in Upper Arlington for you, since half of the city already thinks you live there. Go Bucks! See you soon!
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