The episode begins with Ted narrating to his kids that in the fall of 2011, all of his friends were in relationships so when Barney’s brother James came to visit it caused a “slight logistical problem.”
Shoot to the gang at McClaren’s with their respective relationship partners plus James as Marshall says they need a bigger booth. Nora gets up to use the bathroom and then Barney asks the gang if they want to know where he and Nora are going later in the evening. Ted says, “Don’t ask. It’s a trap.” But, Kevin asks anyway.
Barney replies, “Bootytown. We’re finally going to Bootytown.” Robin then says, “That’s why we don’t ask him.” Barney goes on to say that he’ll “take the Long Thighland Expressway. Stop at Breastport and with any luck be pulling into Port Authority around midnight.” Lily is surprised that they hadn’t already visited “Bootytown.” Barney explains that they didn’t want to “rush anything so we decided to wait until she decides to let me have sex with her and that’s going to be tonight.” Ted asks how he knows. Barney says its because of something Nora said to him earlier in the evening.
Shoot to earlier in the evening as Nora says to Barney, “Guess what my sweet boy. I have a special treat for you tonight.” Barney gets excited and plays air guitar.
Shoot back to the present as Lily says that Barney is “definitely going to Bootytown.” Nora returns from the bathroom and tells Barney that she hopes he’s ready for tonight because he’s “going to be using muscles you haven’t used in years.” Barney replies, “I am?” Nora says yes and adds that she hopes he has some aspirin at home because his ass is going to be killing him tomorrow. He replies, “It is?” Nora then says yes because “I’ll be strapping on…” She pulls out a pair of ice skates and tells Barney that they are going ice skating. James then says to Barney, “Port Authority is closed. Looks like its Hands Central Station for you little buddy.” Barney asks Nora if that was the special surprise she was referring to earlier. She says, “Of course.” Then, she whispers in his ear, “And after that, we’re gonna shag.” Barney then jumps up and screams, “We’re going ice skating!”
After Barney and Nora leave the bar, James asks the gang to ask him what he thinks of Nora. They ask him and he says, “Lovely girl.” Then, he asks them to ask what he really thinks of her. They ask him again and he replies, “She’s great. Guys, please just drop it.” He then asks them to ask him for a third time what he thinks of her. This time, Lily asks, he replies, “Fine. If you really must know. I really don’t like Barney with that woman.” Robin then asks, in a somewhat sarcastic tone, “What could you possibly not like about Nora? Her hair? Her bouncy little nose? How she does everything perfect? I mean what’s not to like?” James says, “It isn’t that I don’t like her, it’s just that . . . she’s our mom.” Ted doesn’t understand what he means. He explains that everything Nora does in some vague way is similar to his and Barney’s mother. “The British accent.” We see Nora say, “Hello, my darlings.”
Shoot to a flashback of Staten Island in 1983 as James explains that his and Barney’s mom is obsessed with Julie Andrews. We see their mom say in a fake British accent to young Barney and James “Hello, my darlings.”
Shoot to Nora hugging Barney as James narrates and we see that their mother would hug them the exact same way “Left hand on the nape of the neck, three gentle strokes of the back with the right.” But, he says the clincher was…
Shoot to a flashback of Nora saying to Barney, “Guess what my sweet boy. I have a special treat for you tonight.” We then see James and Barney’s mother say the exact same thing to Barney when he was a little boy, but her “treat” is ice cream and Barney gets excited and pays air guitar as he did with Nora. James then tells them to “cool it” because Barney and Nora came back to the bar because Nora forgot her raincoat. They kiss.
Shoot to James who is watching them kiss and substitutes their mother for Nora. He looks horrified. Barney and Nora leave and James says he knows that Barney “has slept with plenty of other people’s mothers, but now he’s going to sleep with ours?” Kevin then says, “Psychologically speaking, it’s perfectly normal to wind up with someone like your parents.” James replies, “Well, Psychologically speaking, I think I’ll go now and throw up.” He gets up to go to the bathroom. Then, Lily says that the baby is making her not able to button her jeans thus she doesn’t feel sexy anymore. Marshall tries to assure Lily that she’s still sexy but jumbles the attempt. Lily then basically says that while she feels so fat her and Marshall won’t be having sex. Marshall then asks if Lily means that they won’t be having sex again until the baby is born. She indicates that’s what she means, which prompts Marshall to make it his “mission to help you feel sexy again. I don’t care how much more bloated you get.” Kevin then says he’ll get the next round of drinks, gets up, and goes to the bar. While he’s at the bar, Robin asks Ted if it is okay with Kevin, considering he’s been hanging around so much. Ted says he thinks he’s great “except for one weird thing the other day.”
Shoot to a flashback of Ted walking into his apartment to find Kevin just standing there in his boxers.
Shoot back to the present, as Robin says she’ll go and talk to him and gets up and goes to the bar. Marshall then says to Ted, “Be honest, you’d bang Lily, right?”
Shoot to Barney and Nora ice skating at a rink. Nora tries to show off for Barney by skating on one foot but she falls down, he goes to see if she’s okay. She opens her mouth to reveal that she knocked out a front tooth. Meanwhile, Ted narrates that for “most guys that would have been the end of the date, but your Uncle Barney isn’t like most guys.” We hear Barney say in his head, “I can turn this around.”
Shoot to Barney and Nora who says she’s impressed that he knows a 24-hour dentist. He tells her that he also “does tattoos, can do your taxes and alter a suit.” She thanks him for taking her there. Barney suggests they go out for drinks, but Nora says she thinks they should “call it a night.” Barney immediately protests saying the tooth can’t look that bad. Nora opens her mouth to reveal a fake gold tooth right in front. Barney jokes, “Now, which one’s the fake one?” He tells her that she looks beautiful and they kiss quick. Nora then changes her mind and tells Barney that she could go for another drink. Barney gets excited and plays air guitar again. Barney, turns away from Nora for a second and says, “Sometimes the most romantic moments creep up on you and…” He turns back to face Nora who has a squirrel or a skunk on her head. She screams and throws it off. Barney then says out loud this time, “I can turn this around.”
Shoot back to McClaren’s where Robin tells Kevin that she and Ted prefer guests “to remain fully clothed in the public areas of the apartment.” Kevin asks Robin if Ted said something to her. She replies, “There have been some complaints.” Kevin tells Robin that if Ted said that then he has a complaint of his own, that “Ted is nuts.” Robin admits that Ted is “a bit neurotic but…” Kevin interrupts her and maintains that Ted is nuts. Robin says that Ted has the right to complain about stuff because it is still HIS apartment. Kevin gets offended that Robin is siding with Ted. Kevin asks if this is “your classic your girlfriend still has feelings for her ex who is oddly also her roommate, which I’m totally cool with except everyone keeps telling me I’ve stepped in a bear trap kinda things, is it?” Robin tells him it isn’t and it's just that she feels bad for Ted because he’s going through a rough time.
Shoot to Marshall and Lily’s apartment as Marshal is explaining to Lily how he’s been trying to think of ways to show her how sexy he thinks she still is. “A song? A poem? Then, it hit me…” He then pulls it out and says, “A board game!” Lily doesn’t look thrilled but Marshall promises she’ll like it because they’ll ask each other “risqué questions and perform spicy dares…I call it “Chutes and Lilies.” As Marshall explained the rules of the game to Lily, Ted narrates that Lily was thinking about what Kevin said earlier at McClaren’s…
Shoot to flashback of Kevin saying, “Psychologically speaking, it’s perfectly normal to wind up with someone like your parents.”
Shoot back to Lily as Ted narrates that Lily then thought of the only other man she knew who loved board games just as much…
Shoot to flashbacks of Lily’s dad bringing home board games intermixed with flashbacks of Marshall making up other board games.
Shoot back to the present as Lily sees her father instead of Marshall continuing to explain the rules of “Chutes and Lillies.”
Shoot back to Nora telling Barney that she just wants to go home and take a shower and go to bed. Barney screams, “No!” and says his apartment is closer and that he’ll “make you a bath, pour some champagne, and we’ll forget all about this.” Nora says that his idea sounds good and when her back is turned Barney plays the air guitar again to show his excitement.
Shoot to after Nora has had her bath. She thanks Barney who hands her a glass of champagne and suggests they go out on the balcony for some fresh air. Nora thinks that’s a “lovely idea.” Once on the balcony, Nora comments on the beautiful view. Looking at Nora, Barney says, “I couldn’t agree more.” They move toward each other when, out of the blue, they hear a man scream from above them, “Goodbye cruel world.” Nora screams, “Oh my G-d!” as we hear the man go splat on the pavement below as Barney covers Nora’s eyes. Barney again says, “I can turn ths around.”
Shoot to Ted walking in on Robin and Kevin kissing. He says he’ll go back in his room and watch a movie, “I already had dinner in there, why not a movie?” Robin invites Ted to stay, Kevin agrees unenthusiastically. But, Ted says no because “three’s a crowd” and that they probably wouldn’t want to watch the movie he has in mind anyway. Robin says, “Try us.” Ted asks if they’ve seen Die Hard ? Kevin says “Yeah” in an “of course” tone of voice. But, then Ted says that one of the guys in the movie produced a documentary on coin collecting. Robin and Kevin look at each other with a “sorry we asked” look on their faces.
Shoot to Marshall who made Lily a bubble bath. Lily is happy until Marshall suggests a “sensual back rub” and she sees her dad’s face instead of Marshall’s. Lily gets upset and Marshall says he thought she loved his back rubs. She calms down and admits that she does. Then, Marshall says that Lily will also love the . . . new loofah he bought her. But, Lily sees her dad’s face instead of Marshall’s again and starts to cry.
Shoot back to Robin, Kevin, and Ted watching the coin collecting documentary. Robin is giving Ted a back rub and Kevin is getting annoyed that he’s the only one watching a movie he didn’t want to watch in the first place. Meanwhile, Robin and Ted make plans to see a concert together. Kevin looks mad as Ted narrates that since Kevin was a trained psychologist, he knew how to voice his displeasure appropriately. Kevin asks Ted and Robin to analyze with him the dynamic of their relationship. But, then Ted narrates that Kevin decided to go with a different approach. He jumps off the couch and screams, “Oh hell no! If you’re going on a date with my girlfriend, I don’t have to wear pants in your apartment!” Kevin drops his pants revealing his boxers.
Shoot to Marshall and Lily standing in front of a mirror. Marshall is saying how he can’t wait until the baby comes so they can start working on another one. Lily sees her dad’s reflection in the mirror instead of Marshall’s and freaks out. Lily tells Marshall that ever since Kevin said that thing about winding up with people who are just like their parents, she keeps picturing him as her dad. Marshall tells her that the theory is “crazytown.” She says, “How do you know that? Marshall replies, “Because my mother is six foot three, buys her clothes at the drug store, and prefers to trap her own dinner. I love you more than anything and you’re nothing like her.” Lily replies, “Now that’s how you turn a girl on.” They kiss. But, then Marshall started thinking about Kevin’s theory. He starts flashing back to times that Lily has acted like his dad so when Lily approaches him saying, “I’m gonna rock your world.” Marshall sees his dad’s face instead of Lily’s, all he can do is let out a less than enthusiastic “Yeah.”
Shoot back to Barney and Nora trying to forget that they just saw one of Barney’s neighbors leap to his death, Barney says, “If it’s any conciliation, the guy stole my Wall Street Journal once, so maybe the world is better off without…” He stops himself and says, “The night’s ruined.” Nora then says, “Come here, you.” She hugs him and admits it’s been a “tough night but I still think we can turn this around.” Barney pulls back and says, “Really?” Nora replies, “Why not? No sense in letting things get us down. How does that song go again?” She starts singing “raindrops on roses and whiskers in kittens…” as she sings Barney pictures his mother singing him the same song when he was little. He goes back and forth between seeing Nora singing and his mother. When Nora goes to kiss him, Barney whimpers because he’s seeing his mother instead of Nora.
Shoot to Lily thanking Marshall for “reminding me what a vivacious woman I am.” But, Marshall is seeing his dad’s face instead of Lily’s as she’s saying this. After talking dirty some more Lily/Marshall’s dad leans in for a kiss but Lily pulls away saying she can’t do it because Marshall reminds her of her dad. Marshall tells Lily that she reminds him of HIS dad. Lily replies, “You’re dad?!”
Shoot back to Ted’s apartment where Kevin is regretting pulling down his pants. He pulls them back up and calls Ted a “snake.” Robin defends Ted saying he’s a “nice guy.” All of a sudden, Kevin sees his mother staring back at him instead of Robin telling him how he should be more like Ted. Kevin says, “Right on schedule.” Robin says, “What?” Kevin brushes it off an says that she thinks Ted is “fragile.” Ted then interrupts and asks Kevin if he really thinks he’s “fragile.” Kevin replies, “Fragile like a fox.” Then, he launches into how Ted tried to “scare me off with his little peep show, then he crashes our movie, now he’s got tickets to some super romantic concert.” Ted then says, “It’s Weird Al Yankovic.” Kevin pauses and says, “Anyway, who’s the first person he asks? My girlfriend.” Robin then tells Kevin that she wasn’t the first person Ted asked. She turns to Ted and asks him if she was.
Shoot to flashbacks of Ted calling Marshall, Barney, and a bunch of other people to go with him to see Weird Al Yankovic, all of which declined.
Shoot back to the present. Kevin realizes that Ted IS really fragile when he starts crying that he has to go a concert with his roommate. Then, Robin says she’ll have to “rain check him” because she’s not a Weird Al Yankovic fan. Now, Ted says he’ll be the “other weird guy at the concert” because he’ll be alone. Kevin then says to Ted that there was one person he had yet to ask who happens to be the biggest Weird Al fan in the world.” Ted’s asks Kevin to go with him and tells him about their fantastic seats. When they’re alone Robin tells Kevin that she didn’t know he was such a Weird Al fan. He tells her he isn’t.
Shoot to McClaren’s as Ted tells the gang that it was him that gave Weird Al the idea for his hit song, “Like A Surgeon” because of a fan letter he wrote to him. Lily then asks Barney how his night with Nora went. He says that he realized how much Nora was like his mom. Marshall asked how he dealt with it. Barney says he just “turned things around…my mom’s the best person I know. If Nora turns out to be even a little bit like her, I’m a lucky guy.” Marshall then turns to Lily and says, “I’m a really lucky guy cuz I married my dad.” Lily goes, “Awww.” They kiss and leave. That leaves Robin, Kevin, and Ted so Robin asks what they should do. Ted tells them to go watch their movie and he’s going to stay at the bar. Robin asks him if he’s sure. He says he is and Robin and Kevin leave but not before Ted throws a Weird Al song lyric at him, which of course he doesn’t understand because he’s not a real Weird Al fan but a girl in the bar asks Ted if he was quoting Weird Al. He says he was and she tells him what a big fan she is. She offers to buy him a glass of champagne but then she says something that reminds of his mother so then he sees him mom instead of the girl, but he has drinks with her anyway.
Shoot to flashback of when Ted supposedly wrote a fan letter to Weird Al. We see that Ted really did give him the inspiration to write “Like A Surgeon.”
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