Thanks to the Internet and the prevalence of cyberbullying, bullying is “worse today” than in past generations, Lawrence Township parents who attended an anti-bullying workshop at Lawrence High School were told last week.
The Oct. 19 workshop, which was sponsored by the Character Team at Lawrenceville Elementary School and funded by a grant from the Lawrence Township Education Foundation, was intended to provide parents of students in preschool through sixth grade with ways to work with school personnel to help prevent, identify and stop bullying.
It was one of several anti-bullying events Lawrence Township Public Schools have held in accordance with New Jersey’s new Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights, which includes strict requirements for school districts throughout the state to investigate complaints of bullying and take action.
From Oct. 3-7, as part of the statewide “Week of Respect,” students in all Lawrence Township public schools took part in age-appropriate instruction focusing on preventing harassment, intimidation, or bullying. Nadin Khoury, a teenager who earlier this year was brutally attacked by a gang of bullies in his Pennsylvania town, visited Lawrence Middle School last week to talk about his experience and to urge students to take a stand against bullying.
Lynne Azarchi, executive director of the Kidsbridge Tolerance Museum, an interactive museum for youth at The College of New Jersey, delivered the keynote address during last week’s workshop, telling parents that “bullying is worse today than it was in our day because of cyber-bullying. Cyber-bullying is 24/7.”
According to Azarchi, popular media is largely to blame. “Muslims are being targeted; stereotypes, I think, are getting worse,” she said. “[The TV show] ‘South Park’ is teaching our kids these things. They [the kids] are not sophisticated enough to differentiate stereotypes.”
“We want to help all the children in our school, not just our children, because it is a village,” Azarchi said, pausing to congratulate the audience on Eldridge Park Elementary School and Lawrence Intermediate School earlier this year being named 2011-2013 New Jersey State Schools of Character and Eldridge Park also being named a 2011 National School of Character by the national Character Education Partnership. Lawrenceville Elementary School was also cited as a state School of Character Honorable Mention.
“Don’t be a bystander,” said Azarchi. “Be an upstander. We need to talk about empathy and self-esteem [with our kids]. We need to look [beyond] the finger-wagging. What we talk about at the museum are self-esteem, courage, empathy and modeling. It’s all about practice and role-modeling for our kids.
“Kids are really confused about heroes today,” added Azarchi, pointing to a table filled with names of famous people ranging from Lindsay Lohan to Rosa Parks. “Kids are confused about heroes and celebrities. Have these discussions with your kids. Talk about hero versus celebrity.”
Azarchi paused briefly to praise the efforts of celebrity heroes like Matt Damon and Alicia Keys, who are involved in various influential charities, and address the topic of community service in children’s lives.
“Research says if your kids are blindly following other kids [with community service], they’re not really understanding what they’re doing, like cows,” said Azarchi. “Explain to them what they’re doing.”
With that, Azarchi provided tips on how parents can encourage empathy development: “Ask open-ended questions. Read to your children. Encourage them to take responsibility. Model empathy; kids are watching you. Watch videos [that teach them to] observe and listen to other kids.”
She also suggested ways how to get creative with these lessons: “Draw. Write prose reflections, poetry. Perform skits with puppets. Do improv.”
Azarchi explained that bullying prevention is imperative because mental health is declining with the spread of obesity, poor nutrition, and abuse of cigarettes and alcohol.
“One-fifth of children in Trenton are obese. Children under 6 can’t distinguish between advertising and other media. Parents should be lobbying for stricter commercial [regulations],” she said.
“Take action,” Azarchi urged, name-dropping Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, a national coalition of health care professionals, educators, advocacy groups, parents and individuals devoted to limiting the impact of commercial culture on children. “Teachers can’t do it all. You can be proactive. Parents have to do more. We can make a difference and stand up.”
“Find out what your [bullying] policies are here,” said Azarchi, drawing the workshop to a close. “As Mother Teresa once said, ‘If you can’t feed 100 people, feed one.’ If you can’t teach 100 people, teach one. If you can’t help 100 people, help one.”
To learn more about Lawrence Township Public Schools’ bullying policies, visit the “Harassment, Intimidation, and Bullying” page of the school district’s website.
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