I keep having this weird dream in which a Dallas Cowboys of Arlington receiver shows up late to Cowboys Stadium today because he didn't know the route.I'm not saying Cowboys receivers need to show a better grasp of the offense today, but word is that if they don't, on Monday morning they'll be handed copies of "The Dallas Cowboys Playbook for Dummies."On top of the Cowboys having a shaky group of receivers, Dez Bryant is questionable with a thigh bruise. Makes me wish that Barry Switzer was still coaching so he could install the Wishbone.Ollie the Optimist must have been one of those anonymous linemen in his day because he e-mailed to say that at least we all know who starts at center for the Cowboys.Two great pieces of news for Cowboys fans: 1.) Detroit Lions players say they will not target Tony Romo's ribs; 2.) Cowboys center Phil Costa says he won't, either.The Cowboys are facing the unbeaten Lions today. Let that sink in: the unbeaten Lions. There were years when we couldn't even say that about the Lions heading into their season opener.After witnessing that first pitch involving Cooper Stone and Josh Hamilton before the Texas Rangers' game Friday night, we have a new rule: There is crying in baseball.I like Rays manager Joe Maddon. The other day during an interview, he used the words "homogenize," "innocuous" and "proliferation." Not only that, he used them correctly.The New York Yankees' loss to Tampa Bay that eliminated the Boston Red Sox from playoff contention has to be one of the most satisfying losses in Yankees history.Bobby Thomson's homer was the shot heard 'round the world. Evan Longoria's homer was the shot tweeted 'round the world.What is one thing the Red Sox and my fantasy baseball team do not have in common? My team had Carl Crawford and still won the championship.Oh, those Texas A&M Aggies and their second halves. Now they're 0-1 in two different conferences.Saturday, the Aggies met "Pig Sooie." In two weeks against Baylor, it'll be "Bears Sue-ie."The Boise State and BYU football programs have committed to a 12-year home-and-home series. The way college football is these days, those teams could be in and out of the same conference at least three times during that contract.NFL commissioner Roger Goodell on the 2014 Super Bowl being played outdoors in New Jersey: "A little snow would be great for us, but whatever comes our way, we're going to be prepared for it." How come he didn't say that last year before our Super Bowl?A junior varsity football coach in New York was suspended for taking his players to a cemetery and having them lie down on graves to emphasize the importance of playing hard. What was that coach thinking? I mean, that's the kind of big motivational stuff you use on the varsity, not the JV.An Associated Press source said that during NBA labor negotiations, an angry Dwyane Wade told David Stern that he felt disrespected by the commissioner. My, my, how soon D-Wade forgets all those free throws the commissioner gave him during the 2006 Finals. Find sports humor columnist David Thomas on Facebook by search for "Fans' Insider," and follow him on Twitter @FansInsider. David Thomas, 817-390-7697
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