The leader as the Big Ten gets going is Wisconsin

In the Big Ten, the more things change, the more the name stays the same, whether it makes sense or not. I'm fairly certain it'll be 2065 before the conference reaches numerical equilibrium again when it adds a 110th team (not Notre Dame).

Until then, it's my job to sort through the monumental shifts, as the wide-open, wide-bodied conference straps on its XXXXXXXXL undergarments and its double-chinstraps. A year ago, three teams tied for the title — Michigan State, Wisconsin and Ohio State — although the Buckeyes hocked their share at a seedy Columbus pawn shop.

I'd say there's a great chance for another super-tight race that results in a three-way tie, except it's completely impossible. That's because the Big Ten added a 12th school, Nebraska, split into two divisions — Leaders and Followers — and instituted its first championship game. It's also because Wisconsin is much better than everyone else right now.

(Editor's note: Wojo reserves the right to resurrect his trademark "Fraudgers" label at any time.)

I'm sure the Spartans and Buckeyes have something to say about that, but they'd better say it quickly, without slurring. Michigan State (3-1) travels to Ohio State (3-1) in a huge early showdown that has Mark Dantonio so paranoid, he didn't let his players speak to the media this week. Maybe he's afraid they'd make lame tattoo jokes, when it's obviously the media's job to make lame tattoo jokes.

Michigan State hasn't won there since 1998, long before anyone in Columbus knew the difference between a red "sweater vest" and an orange "roadside cleanup vest." The Spartans have a decent shot, though, because the Buckeyes are starting a freshman quarterback as part of their master plan to lose enough games to necessitate another change and lure Urban Meyer to town.

This is a historic season for the Big Ten, as it tries to keep up with college football's ever-shifty, er, shifting environment. It won't be easy, as the conference already has suffered five humiliating defeats to softies: Indiana lost to Ball State and North Texas; Minnesota lost to New Mexico State and North Dakota State; Michigan State lost to Notre Dame.

I also have no idea why, after finally adding a championship game, the Big Ten scheduled a preview of it on the opening weekend. That's what we have when No. 8 Nebraska visits No. 7 Wisconsin on Saturday night and officially is introduced to the unique aromas of the Big Ten.

The combination of beer, bratwurst and cheese makes bodily gaseous emissions in Wisconsin a legitimate global-warming threat. But the weird thing is, the Badgers aren't just a bunch of plugged-up fatties anymore. They actually hired a really good quarterback, Russell Wilson, and now regularly produce 52-0 halftime leads.

Back when I was sort of growing up, the Big Ten consisted of the Big Two (Michigan, Ohio State) and the Little Eight. Now, if my math is correct, it's the Big Two (Wisconsin, Nebraska), the Medium Five (Michigan State, Ohio State, Penn State, Iowa, Denard Robinson) the Marginal Three (Illinois, Northwestern, Purdue) and the Two Everyone Forgets (Minnesota, Indiana).

It can get confusing, which is why I'm opening up the floor to questions.

Source: http://www.detnews.com