You know how this story goes. A beloved old school franchise that was just fine tucked away in the nostalgic recesses of our memory is called up for a classic round of Hollywood exploitation. In this case, The Smurfs , Belgian animator Peyo’s classic comic and later Eighties cartoon, is brought to the big screen for a quick 3D buck and a laughter-free 100 minutes of facepalm-inducing antics.
Director Raja Gosnell, who similarly bungled the Scooby-Doo franchise for two files, helms this tale of the cute little blue creatures that live in mushroom houses and are named after their personalities. Like the Scooby movies, as well as Garfield and the Alvin and the Chipmunks flicks, The Smurfs is set in a live-action world where the subject characters are rendered in CGI.
As far as story goes, it’s the familiar Smurf-out-of-water fare and yes, the use of ‘smurf’ as noun, verb and adjective is quite out of control here. The Smurfs, who are around 3 apples tall, inhabit a small village in a mythical realm where they’re hassled by an inept wizard named Gargamel (Hank Azaria) and his cat Azrael. To escape Gargamel’s clutches after he finds their hidden village, several Smurfs go through a portal that takes them to modern day New York City. They encounter marketing executive Patrick Winslow (Neil Patrick Harris) and his pregnant wife Grace (Jayma Mays) and formulate a strategy to open up the portal and return home. Of course, Gargamel and his feline pet went through the portal as well and his only concern is finding the Smurfs so that he can extract their inner-goodness, which will unlock infinite wizardry power.
On paper, the voice cast makes this film an attractive proposition. To cement the authenticity of the Papa Smurf role, The Smurfs brings back the familiar voice of Jonathan Winters, who voiced the red-hat wearing Smurf in the Eighties cartoon. Frank Welker, who voiced Hefty in the cartoon (as well as countless G1 Transformers including Megatron) impressively joins as the voice of Azrael. Also lending his voice is Alan Cumming, who you’ll remember as Nightcrawler in X-Men. And if those three weren’t enough, the likes of Anton Yelchin, Fred Armisen, George Lopez and Katy Perry also step in the booth to record the voices of several Smurfs.
As for the live-action cast, Azaria should be commended for his enthusiastic turn as Gargamel, carving out film’s only reputable performance. You could even argue that he appears to actually be having fun in the role (something lacking with the other live-action actors). I’ll add that his Gargamel is spot-on and any fan of the cartoon will agree that he looks and sounds the part all the while getting the hopelessness of the character down pat.
Harris’ charm is hampered by the dull script, though he does his best with what he’s tasked to do. He and Mays, in cute, smiling mode here, have just enough on-screen chemistry to make for decent human protagonists. Sofia Vergara is also in this as well, but she’s strictly in “collect a check” mode and quite unnecessary to the plot.
Of course, a film like this has two audiences: the impressionable lunchbox crowd and adults who are game just for nostalgia’s sake. The kiddies may find some of the sight gags amusing, but adults looking to revisit what the original Smurfs had to offer will find none of that magic here. Instead of connecting viewers with endearing characters like the cartoon did, this movie relies on tired jokes that fail to be fresh or funny. You won’t be surprised to find that Hollywood’s go-to technique, the random rap-infused music scene, is in here with Harris rocking out to Guitar Hero and Brainy Smurf locking down the vocals. Can we all just agree to never laugh at these scenes again? Then maybe directors and screenwriters will get the message.
Sprinkled throughout the movie are moral lessons that are sure to be missed due to the cavalcade of slapstick gags. At one hour and forty minutes, it also feels quite long – they easily could’ve trimmed twenty minutes off the run time and no one would’ve suffered for it.
So, The Smurfs joins the Transformers, G.I.Joe, Alvin and the Chipmunks as the latest 80s cartoon that has fallen victim to the studio money grab. If you haven’t seen it yet, do yourself a favor: leave the Smurfs franchise pristine in your memory, where it belongs.
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