Yeah, so I went to the cricket at Liverpool yesterday. And that's my excuse for writing this preview today rather than yesterday. I wasn't ill, my eye is ok. I do now have a sunburnt head.
Anyway, league champions and the team everyone loves to hate Manchester United make the short journey up the M61 for a game that is usually Bolton's best attended for the season. A near sell out crowd (Mrs X Snr and I are having to go into the Lofthouse Upper for the first time ever) will welcome a team riding high in the league. Three games, three wins.
The Whisky Guzzling Madman of Carrington spent a lot, spent it quickly and spent it well during the summer. Ashley Young gives United an added dimension in attack that they have been lacking since the departure of Ronaldo and Phil Jones was the go to young defender of the summer rather than a certain recent England goalscorer.
Best not mention David de Gea, a weak link to be exploited until the gets used to the English game. Or is branded the new Massimo Taibi.
Bolton's three new signings, Dedryck Boyata, David N'Gog and Gael Kakuta are all expected to put on a white, blue, red and orange shirt today.
'Manchester United aren't the champions by accident and there was only one team better in world football last year, who were Barcelona. I'm pretty sure Sir Alex Ferguson will be looking to close the gap again this year, so that tells you all about the challenge that we face at this level.' I know it's Stretford coming to town, but you can't really blame St Owen for gushing about them. Can you?
'I`ve seen the other side when people lose games and they won`t come and be courteous but that`s why he`s a champion.
"I`m not saying he enjoyed losing, far from it, but he`s humble, gracious and respectful of everyone else in the game.' St Owen on Siralex. Does that respect extend to the FA, referees, Mr Vinegar circa 2001 and Brian Kidd.....?
'I relish these kind of challenges, he`s coming on as a player and still young, so I`ll be trying to give him a going over.' SKD's comments about Phil Jones has got all the United fans a quiver. 'Limited footballer' 'bully' etc.etc. Isn't their manager supposed to be the master of mind games?
N'Gog, Kakuta and Boyata are all in line to make some sort of appearance if needed. The messiah that is Stuart Holden has now got through two reserve games and is knocking weakly on the first team door, but two reserve games do not make up for six months out of the game and his fitness may leave him in the stands. Fabrice Muamba is fit. Oh well....
The captain has promised to give United's defence 'a going over', but the spotlight is falling on the skipper for other reasons for the first time in his Bolton career. For a long time seen as an automatic first choice for what he brought to the team other than his goalscoring, the arrival of N'Gog and Tuncay as well as the form of Klasnic is putting pressure on SKD like never before. As he has said, he relishes these kind of games, but will the large difference in age between him and the United back line mean only one winner.
For Stretford, Nemanja Vidic, Antonio Valencia, Danny Welbeck and Rafael Da Silva are injured and, whilst he was back on the bench for their 8-2 pummeling of The Arse, Rio Ferdinand is looking more and more like a spent force. This means that we may see Jonny Evans appear in the United back four, giving Bolton fans an early opportunity to give him grief for 'that' tackle.
I wouldn't normally give the pubic haired, Littlewood's catalogue model marrying Shrek-a-like the press, but you cannot ignore his early season performances. Whilst he may prefer to play slightly behind the main striker, three games in five goals is some start to the year. When he is off his game he looks ordinary. When he is on his game, there are few better players in the world. Unfortunately, for those who think that people with IQ's lower than their shoe size shouldn't be earning £200K per week.
I always tend to wince whenever I look at our head to heads with Stretford, and then open my eyes (both of them) in surprise when I see that I actually isn't all that bad. United lead 50-41 since Bolton first played Newton Heath back in 1892 (Robbie Blake was in the stand), but at Burnden/Reebok we still hold a 25-18 lead.
Obviously, when it comes to the Premier League, these figures change, the away team leading 16-3 with a 7-1 lead at T'Reebok, Bolton's only win coming after Nicolas Anelka's goal in 2007.
In the fixture, Bolton's leading scorers are, as usual, Nat Lofthouse and Joe Smith with twelve each. In the Premier League it is Kevin Nolan with three.
This is Andre Marriner's first Premier League game of the season. Last season, we had the 'privilege' of Mr Marriner five times, the victory at West Ham, the losses at both Manchester clubs and the thriller at Bloomfield Road and the dour draw against Wigan in the cup. This meant he booked nine separate Bolton players, including SKD three times. Record.
Yes, I know it's United, but I think I'll stick to the 2-1. Put a fiver on it and if it comes in we can all chip together and buy Rooney.
Norwich, at home again, next Saturday at 15:00. What? We're not on TV? Someone call Sky.
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