Families adjust when college students move home for the holidays

BY DARLA SLIPKE Oklahoman    Leave a comment

Courtney Fraser likes staying up until 2 a.m. and sleeping in, but her mom isn’t wild about it.

Fraser, an Oklahoma State University freshman, recently returned home to Omaha, Neb., for her first extended break since starting college in the fall. She is facing the same challenges as many other college students — a clash between growing independence and life back at home. Although half of Fraser’s family is OK with her sleep schedule — her dad is also a night owl — Fraser’s mom still tries to rouse her in the mornings.“It’s kind of weird after living on my own,” said Fraser, whose newfound freedom is being checked for the first time in four months.Many students who return home look forward to quality family time and perks like free laundry or home-cooked meals. But conflicts can arise between students, parents or siblings over issues like curfew and independence.Dr. Stewart Beasley, a counseling psychologist in Edmond, said parents and students need to be flexible and make adjustments.Beasley is also a clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Oklahoma’s College of Medicine.Parents must realize that their children are often returning home with a greater sense of independence, and students need to be aware that the lifestyle they were accustomed to at school might be disruptive to their family, Beasley said.Beasley encouraged parents and students to discuss ground rules and schedule family time.Oklahoma State University freshman Ryan Robinson is splitting his time this winter break between his father’s house in Scottsdale, Ariz., and his mother’s in Vancouver, British Columbia.Robinson said relaxing at home has been a nice break from the stress of school.He was excited to see his family members and girlfriend, who lives in Arizona, but sad to leave his friends from school.“I’ve kind of gotten used to this being my home,” Robinson said of Stillwater.Oklahoma State University senior Natalie Coleman moved back home for breaks during the first three years of college.At first, it was great to enjoy home-cooked meals and relax without schoolwork looming over her, Coleman said.But it became harder for her to make the transition between being on her own and being back home as she got older.At home she was often alone while her parents worked.That was a stark contrast to life in her sorority house where she was often surrounded by dozens of other students.Coleman said she got cabin fever at home.Fortunately, her parents were supportive and helped make the transition as easy as possible. Coleman said she also learned to be flexible.“I wish there was an easier way to handle it, but it is all a part of growing up,” Coleman said.This holiday season, Coleman will be spending time at home in Oklahoma City and with her fiance’s family in Dallas.Fraser said she was ready to be on her own when she started college this fall, but being back home has many advantages.She has enjoyed seeing her family and friends.Her parents are also happy to have her home. Fraser said home-cooked pork chops and chicken Parmesan are a welcome break from the food she eats at school.

Source: http://newsok.com