“It’s really nice in here ... coming here has changed my whole life. I feel safe. Being in a place like this people really show you their love here. Auntie Angela., auntie Eulalie, everybody...”she said.
Lisa said while the rules of the home were not difficult to follow, she admitted that “mistakes” did happen. Then they would have to answer to auntie Angela.
“I would say this is not a home, but a family place, it is the best. Aunties Eulalie and Angela made it the best,” she said.
Lisa said she was interested in becoming a lawyer or any other field within the scope of law.
Carla* is 15 years old and was being abused by her mother.
“I don’t know where my father is. Every time my father went into prison she would take out her stress on me and say it was my fault. She used to beat me and starve me ... belt anything that she could get.
“She would leave me and my sibling at home and she won’t come back for days. My aunt lived next door and sometimes she would come and give me food. I hardly attended school,” she admitted.
Carla now attends a prestigious girlsÂ’ school and for the first time in her life feels safe. She, too, wants to become a lawyer.
Stacy*, now 15, tried to commit suicide when she was just 11 years old. She had been living with her grandmother after her mother left, but she was tormented and nagged every day of her young life until she could no longer stand it, she had to get out somehow.
“I couldn’t take it any more. Then on June 12, 2007, my grandmother told me that nobody wanted me and I shouldn’t be there and she kept on troubling me. The next morning I decided I would drink poison.
“I mixed Gramoxone and Swiper (weedicides) into a Chubby bottle. My brother asked me what it was and I told him it was mauby. When I went to school one of my friends saw it and asked what was that and I said mauby. She said she wanted some and I said no.
“It was during class, before recess, that I drank it. Miss then noticed that I started to feel weak. I told her I wanted to go to the back to drink water because I wanted it to pass through my body quickly. It was then that they called the police and the ambulance and my grandmother.”
She added, “When I first came here I wasn’t very comfortable, but now I am. I was comfortable with auntie Angela until auntie Eulalie came and I started to feel more comfortable because it’s like I wanted a mother or something. I got her and I got attached to her more quickly than the rest them.”
Izzy*, 15, was the most difficult girl to convince to talk. Her life was not one that most people could identify with. Izzy was raped by both her father and her brother and to this day, she is very untrusting of most people, especially men.
Campbell-Gomes explained that 95 per cent of the girls who come to her were sexually abused
She said they had girls with special needs with amazing talents, but their biggest challenge was in securing more corporate sponsorship.
“Everybody wants to identify with a success story, especially if you’re a corporate sponsor. We have very good corporate sponsors. They want to identify because we are making a promise to you ... we want something from you and you want something from us, apart from the exposure.
“You want to know, ‘listen, I’ve assisted this home and this child has gotten six ones or she’s now going to university and we have that. We have children here who are on that level, we have children who can excel. We tell them dream like any other child,” she said.
“All they need is a little counselling, a lot of love, a lot of guidance to dream like every other child. We have girls who are very, very gifted and very talented. We have a child who draws beautifully. Next year we’re going to organise an exhibition along with two other kids. We have another child who sings really well, so we have kids who are gifted.”
She added, “I would like, and I’m sure the board and the corporate sponsors would also like, to see that ‘My God, this is what we really contributed to, we really made it happen, we have made a difference.’”
“But contribution is one thing, helping them realise their dreams is another thing,” Campbell- Gomes said.
So as not to have the girls discriminated against because of their backgrounds, Campbell-Gomes said they do not wear any logos or prints that would identify them when they go out.
“We try to make them be a little different in the way they dress.
“We are not wearing any jersey to identify us as a home, you are not going to see any logo. We do attend functions at other homes, but we don’t have anything to identify us,” she noted.
“Whatever is in style, of course, with reservations, no exposing of anything, we let them wear that. How they speak, how they look, what they say, that is important and that is what makes us different, and that is why it is very easy for the general population to believe, in a conversation with them, that they’re not from a home.”
Campbell-Gomes assured that the foundation, registered with the Legal Affairs and Social Development Ministries, was transparent in its operations.
“The children receive everything. We look at what their needs are, but we try not to overdo it because you don’t want to give the children the wrong impression. What happens the day that we can’t give?
“So the way that we operate, the day we ask you for a computer, it doesn’t have to be a new computer, it could be a second-hand one, most of the things you see inside here are second hand and we explain that somebody has purchased this for you. Whether it is five or ten years old, somebody has sacrificed and taken money from their own personal fare and purchased this for you.
“I think the girls are grateful and they recognise what they are doing for them. Our word is our bond, especially with them and the corporate sponsors. When things are given to us, especially big items and we want to dispose of it, we ask them can we give it to somebody else?” she explained.
Campbell-Gomes said the girls were very structured and organised and had their chores, planned menus and specific bed times. They are also taught etiquette; each girl must learn to play a musical instrument, learn to swim and give CPR. They also had a choice of their own hobby.
The girls are also not confined in what they do, thought or wore, but were guided by their care givers.
“They must learn how to make a decision. If they want to wear a certain outfit and we say no, we say try to see what you want to wear and we will guide you as to whether it’s too exposed or too short or inappropriate,” Campbell-Gomes said.
And like any other home where there are adolescent girls, there are the usual spats and fights because of jealousy and rivalry, but Campbell-Gomes said they take it all in stride.
“Of course there are squabbles, they are teenagers, otherwise something would be weird ... a little jealousy and rivalry. Nothing major because I said to them I’m not getting involved in their petty squabbles, they have to resolve it. If they can’t then I would step in,” she said.
But squabbles aside, the girls also present a strong front when one of them needs support.
“If one of the girls is doing school-based assignment, then all of us, myself included, would stay up until midnight if we have to, even if the other girls are half asleep, whether they can contribute or not, we are there for support. The support system is good. Yes, you’re going to have a little sibling rivalry, they’re teenagers, but it’s not so major that it cannot be resolved,” she said.
The other issue at hand is when the girls turned 18, when they were legally adults, what happens then?
“Because these children, because of the situations that they came from, you would find that the girls start school at age 14 or 15, so at age 18 they would still be attending school. Once you are attending school and there are no boyfriends involved, we will keep you. We would come together and we would continue the process. We would continue to ask corporate sponsors to assist you because you are still achieving, so I think on that basis we’ve decided that we will keep them, those who are willing to excel,” she said.
“That is very important. Once a boyfriend comes into play then we can’t keep you because what precedents are we setting for the younger ones, that’s one, then what message are we sending out there. Some of them come in here with boyfriends and I say, look, there are no cellphones allowed in here and no boyfriends, are you willing to make the sacrifice or not, and so far we have had no problems,” Campbell-Gomes.
She added that some of the corporate sponsors have assured that after the girls graduate, they will be taken on as trainees at some of their institutions.
Although she is the biological mother of one, Campbell-Gomes feels in her heart that these girls are her own.
“I love them, I do, I do, I do. I know that they are not mine, but I feel as though they are and I try to be very, very, fair and I am a very affectionate person. I want hugs and kisses and all that and I think that was what was lacking in their lives, so we do it a lot,” she said.
“We are going to admit when we are wrong, even myself. We apologise in front of each other, depending on the situation. I have told them that I love them unconditionally, and I know that they are not mine, but at some point in time I know that they may be reintegrated with their families, or on their own, but that’s the normal thing when you have your own children.
“It’s very difficult for anybody to say that these girls are not mine because I don’t think of them in that way. I don’t want to minimise the attention, the drive and the passion that I have in trying to help them achieve their goals. I don’t want to just provide, or be just a bed and breakfast. I want to go beyond that and that’s what I’m saying, we do have girls who can excel if people can just give them a chance, and help them to achieve their goals,” Campbell-Gomes stressed.
For the time being, the girls have all they need to lead safe, healthy lives, but their “mom” is pleading for just one thing from one kind sponsor.
“We need a van, please, so we can take them out together and where they can bond together. We do have a driver but he has a station wagon, so he has to drop off one set and come back for the others. We need a van to take them to church and I know there has got to be somebody outside there who would give us a van. It doesn’t have to be a new van. Even if the corporate sponsor wants their name on the van we don’t have a problem with that, but we do need a van,” Campbell-Gomes pleaded.
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