From the new the Game of Thrones production promo and Jason Segel’s hosting duties on Saturday Night Live to a new Sarah Silverman television project, the Expendables 2 poster and more, 411's Porfirio Diaz breaks down the Right, wRong, and Ridiculous from the week in Movies/TV!
Welcome to Week 126 of The 3 R's for the Movie/TV world.
I hope everyone had a grand Thanksgiving holiday. Family, turkey, cranberry, and football: an unbeatable combination, not unlike the Niners – who got stuffed by another form of dirty birds - but nothing much else to complain about.
This week's special: a Black Friday story. But first, Movies/TV news!
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Without any further ado, here is...
Expendables 2 poster splashed with essential explosions, stars, 80s stuff : This is what I like: lava-filled explosions in the background, an all-star cast mounting one another to form a terrifying masculine pyramid, guns at the helm, some chick. All cool, all necessary. I mean, it's giving what audiences want in poster form. One minute you'll strolling on down the mall aching for bacon and Jamba Juice when all of sudden BAH Expendables 2 poster. Next thing you know phone books our ripped in half, beef jerky is consumed, and the population of lumberjacks grow expediently. What can you ask more from a poster bursting with more testosterone than Manny Ramirez? (Hint: he's a baseball player)
The Game of Thrones Season 2 production promo is the most Game of Thrones thing yet : Look at this, more testosterone! More than you can shake your needle at. Anyway, Game of Thrones was so much of a large success on HBO that another season was given the a-ok hand signal. Wow. A television show – not just any television show but a television show that people like to watch - has been extended for another season and is currently in production for a bunch of new episodes. Interesting. Why couldn't this happen to all likeable programs? Instead we're given eight hour marathons of Whitney and I Hate My Teenage Daughter , probably.
The production promo is divine. You have writers David Benioff and D.B. Weiss telling us about the tribulations of a second season. You have previews of new and old characters. You have other stuff. Spoilery stuff. Just help yourself to some Game of Thrones video turkey below.
Season 2 doesn't start until April 2012, which gives me plenty of time to maybe think about reading the book series and maybe think about buying Season 1 on Blu-ray with an added cradle of knowledge. Might as well. I mean, it can't be "football to the groin" Youtube videos and FoxTrot comics all the time.
: I almost wasn't going to introduce this blurb in protest of every single headline I found - Google search: "celebrities Thanksgiving homeless" - name dropping Kim Kardashian as the main headliner ("Kim Kardashian, other celebrities serve up turkey to L.A.'s homeless" – mix and match with other similar article titles) because American media is not yet tired of spoon feeding everybody with the carrot-and-peas known as the Kardashian clan. It's bad enough when gossip rags continue to convince the public about how the marriage was real but that the fault fell completely on Kris Humphries. Sorry industry folks: marriage was an obvious sham, move stage left. Now I have to read about Kim helping out homeless people and giving up part of her day to make those less fortunate feel grateful in attention-grabbing headlines? The nerve!
But in the spirit of the holidays, we should put away our indifferences for a day to appreciate those celebrities – some more dislikable than others – who did something charitable with their time; who extended a helping hand to those not as fortunate as many of us here.
Kim Kardashian took time away from counting her divorce money yesterday to help feed the homeless.
We must give legitimate props to the reality star, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Zoe Saldana and others ( Kirk Douglas, who hosted the event with his wife, has been demoted to "others" now? ) for the charitable endeavor, as they served Thanksgiving meals to the those less fortunate on behalf of the Los Angeles Mission.
Kim, who has remained mostly quiet - with the exception of the occasional blog post - since splitting from Kris Humphries Tweeted afterward about the "many kindhearted people" she met while volunteering and added that "their goal is to feed 120,000 people by the end of the year... Every one of us can do something small that will make a huge difference to someone else.
She's right. Visit Feed LA Now to donate to this cause. -
I sat around the house eating turkey, sleeping, and watch football all day. Really, I should be the one with the most shame. Good job everyone. A form of props is in order for those involved in not just last week's L.A. event but to everyone around the world, celebrity or not, who provided a warm meal or warm clothes to those with neither. Yes, this includes Kim Kardashian. I mean, I guess.
: Community is a super awesome show. No argument needed. But it's also a show that rewards observant fans who study the world on a frame-by-frame basis. Okay, more like those who have DVR and can pause/reward at their every whim. Back to the point, remember Abed's absence from the show? Well not much an absence from the show as it was a tale of background baby drama subtlety. "Not much" is not much of an accurate description to his background scene adventures.
Community has done it again but this time with a little more refinement and a little more awesom-o.
"The Easter egg that took three years to hide. Our show is TOTALLY ACCESSIBLE." - Community creator Dan Harmon
Is there any reason why Community - a comedy show filled to the brim with jokes designed for an Internet audience - isn't one of the better shows on television? Why would anyone want to take even precious seconds off the air in favor of more watered down comedy-of-the-week progr… wait, what's that NBC? You want to answer the question? Fine, but first…
… in your balls.
: In news only delightful to me and maybe five other people, the players and owners settled their legal mumbo jumbo and money quarrels to give birth to a 66-game regular season, starting on Christmas day. This is particularly good news for me since I can finally download all rookies into my copy of NBA 2K12 and start a real association campaign.
Here's an USA Today article about what both owners and players will receive, you know, if you want to read it. I'm just glad to have a season where I can enjoy watching the Sacramento Kings lose approximately 50 games in a row again. Maybe.
Last time on SNL : Jason Segel, Muppets, and how Andre the Giant chooses his ice cream flavor : All of these wonderful combinations helped SNL pull in their highest rated episode of the season, with numbers I don't quite understand but it happened, believe me. If you happened to miss that edition of SNL , then you missed a lot. Host Jason Segel went up there and did stuff! Some were even brilliant. Here's a sample plate of it (sorry to all my non-American friends):
: America, this is why we can't have nice things. Or in this case, we can, only to be consumed by vampire love stories and vampire crazy foreplay.
"The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1" stayed atop the box office its second week in theaters, earning $42 million domestically during the post-Thanksgiving weekend, and $62.3 million during the five-day holiday period, according to early estimates.
The weekend's biggest new release, Walt Disney Co.'s "The Muppets," couldn't catch "Twilight," taking in $29.5 million over the weekend and $42 million during the five-day period, but that beat studio expectations. The puppet revival vehicle stars Jason Segel and Amy Adams, alongside Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy and other felt favorites.
At a cost of just $45 million, the film may prove a lucrative investment for rebooting the puppet franchise across the spectrum of Disney platforms.
"I think more than anything the mission was to bring them back," Dave Hollis, Disney Studios' executive vice president of sales and distribution, said of the Muppets.
"It opens the door for the possibility of more films or TV or whatever it might be," Mr. Hollis said.
I should be thankful that a long-dormant franchise has risen to a state of relevancy with a profitable weekend run. This proves that the Muppets' modern adaption is a success and should gather plenty of steam for more projects and outside appearances. But the whole Twilight beats Muppets angle… err ummm… pinches my brain...
: Because why not. The network already has television shows by Whitney Cummings ( Whitney ) and Chelsea Handler ( Are You There, Chelsea? ) on the wings. With the addition of Sarah Silverman's new project, NBC has dedicated themselves as a pit stop for all female comedians who might joke about their vaginas and whatnot. Think for the ratings!
The half-hour, from 20th Century Fox TV and Imagine TV, is a pet project of Imagine principal Ron Howard. Loosely based on Silverman's life, the untitled single-camera comedy stars the comedian as a woman readjusting to the single life after a decade-long live-in relationship. Silverman wrote the script with Dan Sterling and Jon Schroeder, who were writer-producers on her self-titled Comedy Central series. Silverman, Sterling and Imagine's Howard, Brian Grazer and Francie Calfo are executive producing, with Schroeder serving as co-exec producer. -
Silverman is a polarizing figure. I enjoy some of her work outside of a standup setting - I very much liked the whole shebang she did with Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon. The Sarah Silverman Program also had its moments, which is more than you can say about Whitney - but she doesn't appeal to me as a comedian. I don't dislike her comedy (although her funny-to-annoying ratio does skew over one side for too long) but I don't feel compelled to listen in. I like shock value but she just doesn't do it for me. So for her brand of comedy to premiere on network television is, eh, meh. Silverman over Community ? Total meh. This is what you call a subjective issue, so feel free to share your thoughts below.
She's not unattractive but she's not hot either. Figure I get down to what's really important sooner or later.
: Much like all stories involving the passing of a person, this isn't particularly a "wRong" story. Just a really sad one. This happened a month after a stunt worker was killed during an explosion accident on the set of Expendables 2 .
A crew member working on the set of the movie "G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation" died yesterday after an accident on the New Orleans set ... TMZ has learned.
Officials at Paramount Pictures confirm ... the crew member was working on tearing down the set, when something went terribly wrong.
Sources connected to the production tell us ... the man was working on a high-powered scissor lift, when the machine tipped over and the man sustained fatal injuries. -
Serious accidents also occurred on the sets of Transformers 3 and Hangover 2 , while notable injures occurred on the sets of The Hobbit and The Avengers . Notice how all except The Avengers are sequels. Coincidence? Hmm…
Obviously these stories are very sad to hear, and thoughts and prayers go out the family and loved ones. As the number of stunts increase with every big budget movie put out there, so too will the chances of set accidents and deaths. At least it's the percentage I got from my imaginary calculator. And when I input this unique combination of numbers… heh heh, boob.
: Producer Roy Lee recently spoke out about the upcoming remake of Old Boy , which seems nice and blah blah blah WHAT ABOUT THE BATTLE ROYALE REMAKE?!
"Hunger Games took a lot of wind out of the sails of [a U.S. version of Battle Royale] because of its similar storyline and so I'm not exactly sure any studio--even before 'Hunger Games'--would have taken the creative risks you would have needed to take to make the movie right now so would be even harder." -
I think that's code for "Hollywood doesn't have the balls to make a proper Battle Royale remake." While bummed out, I did like people's reaction in the comment section, which one described Old Boy and Battle Royale as "UNIQUELY asians", and another felt upon to bash "White Hollywood" for their improper handle of Hunger Games based on what little footage is out there.
Oh, and Roy Lee said there might be a Poltergeist remake too. Because movies about paranormal activities require little creative risks I suppose.
: Bachmann's guest appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon proves this: politicians make for terrible party invitees.
The short skinny: Michelle Bachmann appeared on Jimmy Fallon , the Roots played a special entrance theme for her called "Lyin' Ass Bitch", Fallon apologized, Roots drummer said the whole song was intended to be tongue-in-check, Bachmann threw many fits and demanded an official apology from NBC, threw in the "if it happened to Michelle Obama, she would have gotten an apology by now" card. Fin.
Politicians don't have the same absurdity as most celebrities and thus are not worth the headache. That's why when I have my own talk show, it's going to be me talking to Mila Kunis five times a week and showing videos of cute kittens wrestling.
: It's the Porygon incident all over again! But as much as rapid fire color shots make you queasy, Breaking Dawn's birthing sequence might top the list of things that tastes like seizure.
Lighting used during Breaking Dawn vampire birthing scene can trigger seizures, scientists say.
The latest edition of The Twilight Saga could be hazardous to your health. ( People have been saying this about the whole franchise for years and only now it's made public? )
Analysts say the lighting effects used for the movie's buzzworthy vampire birthing scene can trigger epileptic fits in some viewers. The victims are believed to have suffered from photosensitive epilepsy, which is caused by the sudden flashing of various lights.
Several filmgoers have reported leaving Breaking Dawn screenings early because of the "intense" birth scene. Brandon Gephart of Sacramento ( sweet, a hometown bro ) accompanied his girlfriend to a showing of the movie last week and began convulsing shortly after the start of thevampire birth. He was rushed to the hospital by paramedics and the screening was stopped as a precaution. In another reported case, a Salt Lake City man passed out after viewing the scene. -
The event was reported earlier by comic illustrator Jim Lee, who tweeted , "Had to step out of Breaking Dawn...our 11 year old son literally threw up during the birthing scene." He later added , "He feels bad we had to step out. Me, I'm getting some dessert. He said the crunching noises during birth got to him."
I could easily solve this case. Let's see: all men, all throwing up at the sight of Kristen Stewart. Yeah, sounds like a bad case of men being dragged out of the house to watch a Twilight film. Case closed.
: Question: who is Zoey Deutch and why did she get paid a ton of money for a show that got dumped before it even hit the air? Oh, she's a Disney star. That makes senses. Obviously.
Disney star Zoey Deutch -- the daughter of "Back to the Future" actress Lea Thompson -- raked in $25,000 for her first ever network acting gig ... but the gravy train came to a screeching halt because the show got canned before it ever aired.
TMZ has obtained a copy of Zoey's contract for an ABC pilot entitled "Hallelujah" -- filed recently in L.A. County Superior Court -- and if you haven't heard about the show, don't worry ... it never got picked up.
According to the contract, Zoey (who starred on Disney's "The Suite Life on Deck") was paid $25,000 for 17 days of shooting -- presumably for the pilot -- with a promise of another $25,000 per episode thereafter if ABC picked it up.
Problem is ... ABC passed on the pilot this fall -- and the show's future is unclear. -
"Zoey, you worked hard for this show. Too bad it didn't amount to anything above squat. Hey, here's free money anyway!" Sorry, this is a petty side of me that doesn't come out often. Only when it hears stories about annoying teenagers who earn giant sacks of money in non 9-to-5 shifts. On 17 days of work.
She's certainly on the CW show Ringer , which is famous for Sarah Michelle Gellar and for featuring a large number of characters that desperately need a punch to the face, Deutch's character included. Not by me of course. That wouldn't be proper gentlemen-like manners otherwise.
You know it. Woo woo woo!
I don't think you'll get much argument from, oh I don't know, everyone .
It's not surprising at all. It's the nature of the beast, and what an unsightly beast she's become. Thank goodness we only have to put up with one more of these movies.
I pictured both scenarios in my head. Now I want to marry them both and make babies.
This is the reason Triumph the Insult Comic Dog exists. He exists for purposes such as the above scenario. Yet he is nowhere to be found. Judging by the high levels of angst and menstruation found at those Twilight premiers, maybe it's for the best.
Community needs more than one more season. It needs a buttload of more seasons. I don't know if "a buttload of more seasons" qualifies as correct sentence structure but consarn it this is serious business~!
Last word: Thanksgiving Day is a time of family and giving thanks. Having spent all day with loved ones and moist turkey meat made me realize the importance of life's little treasures, and how much I really wanted to play the new Zelda game, Skyward Sword . I should be playing it right now and for the next sequential days. But alas, I became Zelda-less over the weekend. The reason: Black Friday turned Walmart into the most Walmart thing ever.
I've been to a couple of Black Friday events – Fry's Electronics is the only store I've wasted my nights standing in line on – but I decided to settle on just one store the whole weekend: Walmart. They had the Zelda bundle on sale for $59.99. On top of that, they had blues Wii consoles for $99. Hey, I could use both, only because I needed one to work with the other.
So I arrived at Walmart around 8:40pm and managed to find the line for video game sales. For illustration purposes, here's a crude but extremely accurate portrayal for my Black Friday Walmart experience (with intermission):
Legend:
The people around me were courteous, a depiction not usually shown by the media since their love of fear and horror around this particular event is more appetizing than any turkey. We gave people sewing machines that were part of the sales spree (access to them was blocked by the line), allowed shoppers to pass on through the crowd, and had a laugh to our otherwise miserable time. Our moment of pre-insanity was interrupted by two people fighting over a waffle maker - generally people don't fight over waffle maker unless endorsed by Kim Kardashian and/or given a doorbuster price of $2. Who knew the duct tape of humanity insanity would be ripped apart by inexpensive kitchen appliances? –but overall it wasn't too bad.
Then the clock stuck 10:00pm.
Our line was kept in check for the most part (only five people at a time could enter the video game section with a one minute time limit) but around us nested a swarm of people eager for savings. Long story short, I ended up with no Zelda bundle in hand (sold out quickly sad face) and took an additional 20 minutes trying to bypass my way out the store. Fun was had by all.
But if there's anything I should be thankful, it's that no injuries, arrests, deaths , shootings , stabbings , or target="new">pepper-spray incidents happened in the store. Only general pandemonium. Terrifying general pandemonium. At least we don't have to put up with any ear-stabbing Black Friday commercials anymore. They were all terrible. All> of them . Terrible .
I think I'll stick with Amazon for now on.
Additional Last Word: It's about time my alma mater became recognized on a national level. I just wish it was a little more than a little pepper spray to the head and creation of the latest Internet meme.
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