Critics Corner reviews 676 Lil B tracks

ack review, it is best consumed in accordance with the album, which can be found via a quick Google search.

Also, we reviewed the new Radiohead album track by track and then hid those reviews in the body of the Lil B review. Can you find them?

Gather round, boys and girls, for we are here to spin you a tale of misery and woe. And #swag.

Remember The Pack? That Berkley, California-based rap group who had a hit song about wearing Vans shoes? If you’re drawing a blank, don’t feel bad, because they basically dropped off the face of the earth circa 2008. One of their members, however, was a fellow by the name of Lil B, who refused to merely run with The Pack, so to speak, releasing internet mixtapes at a dizzying pace, as well as posting songs on his 300+ MySpace pages.

On said MySpace pages, Lil Boss released countless “Based Freestyles,” aka raps delivered straight off the top of his head. His two favorite topics to rap about are positivity and strippers.

Some brave, noble soul compiled the 676 tracks into one mighty mixtape entitled “Free Music” that Lil Brandon quickly endorsed as if the whole thing had been his idea the entire time.

We here at Critics Corner took it upon ourselves to be the first people on THE ENTIRE INTERNET to review “Free Music.” We, along with special guest critics Thomas Pearce and Chris Clayman, hunkered down on a Friday night and set about reviewing the whole beast.

I think Nolan cried at one point.

The writer Malcolm Gladwell is a big fan of the “10,000 Hours Theory,” which states that genius is not inherent, but it is developed through ten thousand hours of perfecting your craft. He points to The Beatles as an example – The Beatles spent a year or so in Hamburg, Germany, playing marathon shows at Bier Halls. When they came back to England, they had magically transformed from four dudes from Liverpool into The Beatles.

Well maybe, just maybe, the point of Lil B recording all of these songs isn’t strippers or the ocean or trying to find excuses to yell “100,000,” but something more. What if Lil B is, through the creation of things like “Free Music,” trying to knock out his ten thousand hours?

B is improving. His recent tracks such as “My Baby” or “Slangin Yayo” show him progressing into a rapper with something to say and a unique way of saying it, with a forward-thinking ear for beats more nuanced than almost any rapper out there. Lil B is legitimately doing things no other musician is doing, and things like Free Music helped him get there.

So maybe it worked. Maybe this mixtape represents Lil B’s metaphorical year in Hamburg. Look at this release as one young man’s blossoming into lotus flower of adequacy. Also, listen to this mixtape to be impressed by its sheer existence. Never before has someone ever put out a 676 track, two-and-a-half day long release – this is basically hip-hop’s Infinite Jest. In all of its messy, profane squalor, Lil B has created something beautiful.

676 track reviews.

Note: Parental discretion is advised.

1.              “Profile Slow”: Come one, come all, to the longest show on Earth. Starts with a fat beat, but then a needlessly double-tracked Lil B repeats basically every line twice. Scratch that, four times. Without being misleading in the least, it’s very promising.

2.              “S—t Yea”: Beginning with an out-of-nowhere video game intro (later coupled with conga percussion), this is the first hint that maybe these songs weren’t met to be listened to together. Move over, Barry Manilow, Lil B doesn’t even need to stay on the beat to make mood music.

3.              “Answers To Your Questions”: Smooth funk, meet hilariously over-done vocal echoes. A chorus of spaced-out Lil Bs proceed to talk over the entire song, predictably raising more questions without answering any. “I love being me/I love being an entertainer/It’s amazing/It’s Crazy/So amazing/My name’s Lil B.”

4.              “I’m Okay – Stay Based”: Good news, Lil B is okay. And his pack burns like weed burns. A staccato flow builds into something more complex, and the Lex Luger-style effects make it a capital-lil-B Banger.

5.              “It’s Money Down South: Part 1”: This is the first time Lil B rhymes Lexus and Texas. He also says Lil B stands for Lil Boss. Could it be true?

6.              “Just Believe”: The first motivational Lil B track of many. Those only familiar with his party side will be surprised by how earnest and somber he sounds. Maybe even…sober. A good reminder that, no matter how Based you are, life is hard. It’s okay to cry from time to time if you need to. This is also the first time he says “trill.”

7.              “Up Next”: A Steve Reich-style composition in which the echoes of Lil B’s voice layer at different tempos, eventually forming a round.

8.              “I’m Busy (Phone Call): Part 1”: Skits! The phone call is with a girl he doesn’t have time for, and he hangs up reluctantly because staying Based is tough and he has to get his mind together. The song begins in earnest with “I’m insane/With no brain” and a generic female vocal sample, mixed with phone-style dialogue, round out the chorus of a rare, fully developed track.

9.              “CandyLand Colors”: This track might be the one referenced the most, so pay attention. Like a kid in a candy shop, Lil B is left speechless by the plethora of beautiful women constantly around him. This track is a sleeper: on first listen it sounds like a throwaway, but a revisit proves otherwise. He can’t stay on a single topic for more than two lines, but it’s done this way to convey his exuberance. Merry Christmas to you, too, Lil B.

10.          “See Me in 3D: Pt. 1”: The thing where rappers find rock samples and integrate them into the song. Introduction to what might be the biggest theme on the tape: the internet as a substitute for reality. Here the juxtaposition comes from alternating between saying “She sees me in 3D” and “MP3” over smooth jamz.

11.          “Ass On Deck”: Interesting placement, almost hinting like this strip club ode to joy, where B brags about the rappers who taught him game, might be a virtual dream. Thematic continuity from CandyLand Colors: ‘golden ticket.’

12.          “Swerve (Remix)”: Oceanic harp (?!!?) strumming builds into a serious love jam, featuring the best production so far. Lil B’s voice sounds soothing in the background, and it’s a good sound!

13.          “This The Biggest D—k”: OKAY NOW IT’S HEATING UP. The backing vocals might seriously be from Dirty Projectors, and are definitely in that dogs-can-only-hear this range. And then an Akon clone is rapping about exactly what you expect, and Lil B doesn’t even show up until the two-minute mark. Posse cut. Oh, and the bridge is the word “balls” spliced up over and over.

14.          “I’m Bout B—ches”: This is Lil B talking about how he’s the candy man and what that means from a player standpoint. Thematic continuity: candy land, young boss, “putting her face down.” I’m starting to wonder if these tracks were seriously ordered with a purpose. The verses are standard, but he gets so excited for the chorus that you can’t help but get into it.

15.          “That’s Right”: Again, these tracks were not meant to be part of a compilation. As a result, maybe the most interesting part is the introductions, like when Lil B wishes us a happy new year. Welcome to the Based world, where Berkeley is the South and time is non-linear. The chopped-up smooth guitar sample makes for an up-lifting track, and the same hype in the background (swag-free, I might add) mixes two shallow mediums into the most listenable track so far.

16.          “I’m Bout My Dollas”: Longest track so far (and until track 69) and also the first track deserving of Best New $wagger . Everything about the beat screams Dr. Dre, and the overly vulgar, slowly delivered lyrics complete the homage. It’s a perfect fit, and a few Based features in the background hint at something good. No, with smooth rhyming and that funk bass, this is something great. This track is dedicated to Oakland, and if I lived in Berkeley I’d be hella jealous.

17.          “U C Godss”: And now he’s making up words as somebody mumbles in the background behind overdone synths. It’s a story of thug life and hardships, but the digital altercations are more telling than any dramatically sparse production can be. But nothing’s wrong with a little Based role-play.

18.          “Work B—ch, Work Fresh (Remix)”: Lil B is all about some affirmation. Whether of the motivational kind, hood kind, or good-old self-affirming swagger, Lil B is a positivist through and through. Every song so far has had an over-dubbed chorus of “yessss” or “yeah-uh” rounding out the track. Yessss. You almost forget this is already like the third track about a stripper.

19.          “We Are The World: Part 1”: CALLED IT! “My people we could change the world/It takes a brave one to stand up/Live positive/Turn That Frown Upside Down/Love Means Life/It’s Our Town.” Lil B did this song because we’re all family, and it’s the joyous sounds of someone arising from a weeklong marijuana daze and realizing how great it is to be alive. Also, it’s exactly four minutes and twenty seconds long.

20.          “Lil Wayne”: New theme: rapping over other people’s songs. This is going to happen a lot, and what better way than starting with Weezy’s “A Milli.” It also makes you go back and reevaluate Lil Wayne because, when given this beat, Lil B is on fire. And then halfway through the second verse he falls off the beat, shattering the illusion as a way of differentiating between virtual fantasies and reality. Brilliant, and totally what he was going for. Best New $wagger .

21.          “Thank God I’m Based”: For a song title so essential to Lil B’s philosophy, this song does not live up to its potential. Really, it’s a video game beat and cheap drum loops, and probably cost Lil B like forty cents to make. Good thing he’s Based.

22.          “Bangkadang”: Few things are better than an unauthorized hip-hop remix of Coldplay’s beloved hit single “Clocks.” One of them is a rapper giving a web address over Coldplay’s hit single “Clocks.” But when the rapping begins, the drums stay out, creating an unorthodox freestyle effect that almost masks the fact that he’s talking about strippers and blowjobs again. Also, the URLwww.bangkadang.comhas expired and ReeseNews is accepting donations to buy it.

23.          “I Want That Now”: “I’m rolling 85/ I should be going 75/ but I be going so fast/ I should never drive.” As these lyrics make clear, this song is about Lil B’s fame, desire for riches and recognition. Fascinatingly, it’s equal parts declaration of how famous he is and fantasy of how famous he wishes he were. Thematic significance: multiple personality disorder, loneliness.

24.          “I Love Her Mind: Part 1”: Before listening to this track, I placed a wager with myself as to whether this would be a “deep” song or a euphemism for “head.” Ask yourself this question before you keep reading and see how well you know the Based Overlord. If you guessed “deep,” subtract five points from your total score. If you guessed “head,” give yourself one point. But if you guessed “neither, he just raps about himself materialistically, not at all talking about his mind,” up your score to the next level of Based.

25.          “God Bless America”: STAY POSITIVE. So in a song called “God Bless America,” which features a smooth piano sample and nothing American, Lil B declares himself the Son of Sam. Twice. The second time over a saxophone solo and the same white-America-mocking held-note singing style that he normally reserves for talking about blowjobs.

26.          “Twerk Team”: Firmly back into Based territory, Lil B sounds far more comfortable commanding strippers. For only the second time so far, the beat is actually filthy. Even a Based squirrel finds a nut, and Lil B has what might actually be a party jam with a beat similar to Ciara’s “1, 2 Step.” Not much rapping here, although he finds a lot of adjectives synonymous with “gyrate.”

27.          “Read Between The Lines ‘89” – It’s here I would like to note that since the reviewing began earlier today, Lil B has released a new tape. He is writing music faster than it can be reviewed, and the talk-sung sour nothings on this 80s homage might help explain why.

28.          “The Sex Song”: Lil B begins this song by telling us sex is serious, condoms are important, and that we should care about the people we have sex with. Sometimes it could end up even leading to death, “but now, we gonna get to some other s—t.” The bass is funky, the vocals are hypnotic, and the world now knows what it would sound like to have sex on cough syrup. MORE IMPORTANTLY, this is both the first time Lil B says “swag” and the first time he thanks his parents. Both of these happen within ten seconds of each other.

29.          “Dragon Ball”: Best New $wagger . In a prime example of what he later calls “Based Free Style,” Lil B free-associates everything from Yao Ming (who is kinda Japanese in that he is from China) to bungee jumping (which is kinda like being high) with no interludes, only to ramble about being better than Freeza and Goku. Yessss.

30.          “I Still Go Dumb”: Yep.

31.          “Working For The Light”: I could totally see turning this song on at random, not knowing what it was, and thinking that maybe there was a live band. Or at least a live drummer. Considering at least 20% of these tracks are ganked from video game soundtracks, this is a big deal. But then he falls so far off the beat that the drums follow, too. It’s a mess, which is important because he’s talking about his swagger right after making it clear he is in need of money. Words can lie, but rhythm cannot. Also, he blesses hurricane Katrina survivors out of nowhere.

32.          “Thank You All, I Love You”: That synth. I’ve heard it before. WAIT IT’S “YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT” by The Rolling Stones. And it’s a song called “Thank You All, I Love You.” Again, he raps without a drum beat until he says “it’s the summertime I love y’all” (thematic continuity: temporal discontinuity) and goes off on that tangent. Obviously, Best New $wagger .

33.          “Cheat”: Lil B tells us that if once in a lifetime we want to cheat on a spouse, it’s okay. Thematic continuity: things that aren’t true.

34.          “My Boy”: It takes a gifted rapper to tackle the female counterpoint in hip-hop, explaining sex symbolism without objectifying the woman who is now the subject. Lil B is not this rapper. Thematic continuity: internet dreams. There are also different levels of production on this track, which is a first.

35.          “3 Stacks”: This song begins with something you would hear at a Chinese restaurant. “Just save your heart/That’s from the heart.” In a deep Based moment, Lil B explains how he got disillusioned with education and now regrets it. I think he’s used this saxophone sample before.

36.          “Buzzin’ (Remix)”: This song is proof that Shawyze, at one point in time, existed. Also, it sounds like Lil B held a mic to his computer speaker to record the Shwayze sample, thanked Shwayze, and called it a remix. If this isn’t Based, I don’t know what is. If this is Based, I still don’t know what is.

37.          “Based in Japan”: I would like to say “thematic continuity: double entendre” because he could be based out of the country Japan, or he could be Based while in Japan. Unfortunately, this is the first documented case of wordplay so far. Also, it’s political, like when he declares he’s anti-war, then says he wants to be the president. This has nothing to do with Japan until he says it does.

38.          “Riverdance”: To answer your question, yes. Yes it does. Now the surprising part is the Riverdance sample is really good, gets going with a good clap-track, and could provide a great background to rap. But Lil B just talks about game, playing off of how it both sounds like “gay” and “propane.” Then it gets hot.

39.          “Undercover ScubaDiver”: One of the first tracks to get the introduction of “Based freestyle,” it actually has a fair amount of rapping. Like, three lines before he goes back to talking. But as far as role-playing goes, might as well go Based or go home. Once off on the scuba tangent, he keeps talking about pearls and seas, and eventually you convince yourself the track has an oceanic feel to it.

40.          “Berkeley Boy”: This song will make you glad you didn’t grow up in Berkeley. Also, he censors the words “b—ch” and “ho” but not the f-bomb. There’s something symbolic in that, but if you think it’s an anti-sexist stance, you obviously are not Based.

41.          “Purple Weed”: Okay so first of all it IS Prince’s “Purple Rain.” Second of all, Lil B says he can’t sing that good, then sings over it. Third of all, he edited the sample so Prince says “weed” instead of “rain.” And he really, really can’t sing.

42.          “The Based Prayer: Part 1”: It sounds like the Based Overlord comes from outer space. And is a preacher, but with a very dark organ. It’s not really a prayer, though, but more like Lil B saying he will never give up, but you might see him floating. Thematic continuity: egomania.

43.          “Do It Again”: One of those trancey, videogamey songs that is only important because of Lil B’s amazing choice of words to dub over the track (“she said do it again so I’mma do it again,” “Based Overlord”).

44.          “I’m Based Overlord”: Putting the trill in tril(l)ogy, this one goes back to the Dre influence, actually sampling Dr. Dre’s samples. And talking about dogs. “I got tatted on my throat/I went that far/And my moms love it/She said B you gotta keep it real so.” I wonder if he has more than one mom. #Based

45.          “I’m Jim Carrey”: He declares himself Jim Carrey, George Clooney, Ashton Kutcher and Brad Pitt all in the first verse. Thematic continuity: things that are not true. The idea is that his life is like a movie because it is so surreal, but then talks about how real he is because he makes his own shoes. Also all of a sudden being tattooed on his neck has become an integral theme.

46.          “My Zone Twilight (Skit)”: He says he already has over 500 tracks, and I can’t think of a more appropriate background track. Scary stuff. #paranormalbased

47.          “Hustle In Da Scraper”: This is supposed to be Lil B’s take on religion, but it’s really not. An organ does not spirituality make. But he does say no doubt, and then tie it in to Gwen Stefani in what is, by default, the best free-association he’s made.

48.          “When My Boyz Ridin’”: The blown-out speaker feel to this production is pretty interesting. But my standards are pretty low by this point, and he is droning about nothing. If you like this, check out The Goslings.

49.          “A Zilli”: This song has nothing to do with Lil Wayne except that Lil B wants more than a milli. A lot more. He also says that being fresh and clean is like a magazine, changes up the rhyme scheme, and I can rap too and be a meme. And then, right when the flow heats up, he says he’s looking for a lesbian, proving that he does not “Get” “It.”

50.          “Purple or Blue”: Bad news, y’all, it’s a Based freestyle on deck. And it’s about colors (thematic discontinuity: CandyShop Colors). But I mean it’s “about” colors just like other songs are “about” being positive. He names a bunch of colors then drifts away from the point. As per usual, it’s very listenable and has very little rapping. Correlation does not imply causation, but it does in Based statistics.

51.          “Clean Down”: I don’t think I’ve talked about the music in like twenty tracks. Here the beat is pretty raw, and the video game themes are used as auxiliary additions rather than a crutch. Using his patented whiny voice, he talks about how he’s “sexy” and “freestyle.” I would talk more, but the next track just started and it’s sampling Soulja Boy.

52.          “700”: HE SAYS SWAG!!! Honestly, I thought this would happen a lot more. Thematic continuity: saying ‘scraper’ just because he ran out of words to rhyme with ‘paper,’ and saying his real name is Brandon, numbers.

53.          “Today’s Weather Forecast”: Hot Releases-style electronics give way into Hot Releases-style 80s smooth funk as Lil B talks about the weather. Punning off of weather he says it determines whether or not he wears a sweater, turning warm into flame, spinning a web that would make Charlotte jealous. Or just mad.

54.          “Street Knowledge (Based College)”: THIS IS GENUINELY AN AWESOME NAME FOR A SONG. But his based college is the Bay Area, and we’ve already been over how Lil B makes this place sound the worst just because it’s so boring and repetitive and they only know like five words. Nothing happens over this track, but a (thematic continuity: ) schizophrenic Lil B gets mad at the non-existent audience for being silent, proving how much Bay(sed) Area must not be fun. What does this even mean? What does life even mean?

55.          “Have A Good Day”: I wonder what he would be like if he didn’t smoke so much weed that he thought it would be a good idea to release all these songs. Instead, we get a track about how relaxed Brandon is, and about how all his non-Brandon names are in honor of his being honored. Here’s to a life without stress.

56.          “Feral”: Sounds like Flying Lotus more than anything else. Bumbly sounds evaporating into wailing. Divine.

57.          “My World”: Uncharacteristically cluttered, we got gun shots, Lex Luger re-ups, and a few other things I already forgot about as we hear “I’mma do me” a lot in the background. “Ya feel me/No homo/Whips out the ass,” followed by a Gucci Mane sample. Let me out of this world. This is not a good world. I do not like it here. Tags: calls self a thousandaire, says swag, says swag and ‘dad’ in same sentence.

58.          “Make Dat S—t Slap”: The beat is moving, but the combination of this particular beat and lyrics so focused on getting girls to dance makes a definitively non-danceable cut. “You can’t say my face/But you can look/at/me,” has something to do with it.

59.          “Real Horny”: Thematic continuity: what makes reality real? Can we know given the confines of our language? Is Based language an improvement over regular language? Regardless, this track is just about morningwood. Tags: says “scraper” and does NOT rhyme it with “paper” (instead rhymes it with “sack”).

60.          “BasedLord”: Posse cut, but by posse I mean Lil B’s alter egos are rapping here. Getting very deep into Based mythology, he says swag. Declares self the most Based alive man on Earth. Lyrics: “When I look in the sky I see/Thirty thousand unicorns flying at me (unicorns)/And then I float into the ocean (ocean)/Fell in, I drunk the potion.”

61.          “Keep On Rocking”: Club track with a twist: Lil B says “Lil B Lil B love big d—k” and I don’t think I am mishearing him. Naturally, this is a really catchy song. Best New $wagger .

62.          “F—k Dem Bitches” – This is the one where he says “I never eat her p—sy I’d rather go to hell b—ch,” and I realize I can no longer ignore how anti-cunnilingus he has been since the third track. See: “Keep On Rocking.” Thematic continuity: the plot thickens, don’t ask don’t tell.

63.          “Money On My Mind”: It’s the tone of his voice when he isn’t being serious that is the most fascinating of all Based mythology. It seems as if he is baiting the listener to hate him, but also so desperate for attention. What parts are and aren’t serious is never clear. Right when you think he’s going for a hip-hop song, he falls off the beat or talks about Based mythology. Or, here, both.

64.          “Young B—ch”: Word on the street is this song inspired Vladimir Nabokov’s famous movie-turned-book Lolita . A totally new flow for Lil B, which I honestly was not expecting after track four. He plays off the backing vocal track to create a complex pattern. Unfortunately, all the backing vocal says is “young b—ch.”

65.          “I’m Happy (Remix)”: Does a sentiment this simple need a remix? Duh! The song where Lil B says he is “high, high off weed and I come from outer space.” This is clearly incongruous where he calls himself the most Based man on Earth from a few tracks ago. He calls himself “the mayor/and the president/and I’m Based/that’s just evident,” and it’s pretty funny, at the very least if you think he isn’t serious.

66.          “Old Sku”: Yo, what is going on here? A deep cut takes a turn, and at this point I don’t care if I like it or not, I just like variation without having to press the “skip” button on my computer. The flow is a bit more aggressive, which helps Lil B stay on the beat like he’s a competent MC. And he poses quite well, talking about what he knows (weed, women, Based mythology) and plays around with the scheme a bit. Maybe this is a result of my lower standards or lifestyle choices, but I instantly declare Best New $wagger .

67.          “Rap Dreams, Hoop Dreams”: Because the day this came out, Lil B challenged Kevin Durant to a game of one-on-one pick-up basketball. Thematic continuity: naming numbers for no real reason. Fun facts: the first time he compares himself to Mr. Rogers. One of the many songs where you can fast-forward a minute and feel like you haven’t moved a second.

68.          “Shawty What U Duuen?”: NMJC, U? The themes are the same (I like you, girl, and I like you because you’re doing all the work and it’s all on a physical level) but it’s not aggressive and now it feels like maybe he isn’t covering up some deep-seeded sexual confusion. But the night is young.

69.          “Captain Miami”: So this is the first exposure to super-nerdy Lil B voice. A corny theme song takes us to Miami, and Lil B comes in as Based as ever, whining about who he’s not (him) and using the idea that “my” sounds like the “mi” in Miami way more than anybody should.

70.          “Trapped In BaseWorld”: Three pieces of good news. This is track 69. This is the longest track so far. It’s about being trapped in the 1980s. It begins with Lil B offering the listener Kool Aid, ice and tea, then saying he doesn’t care. This is the first time he mentions Bathing Apes, but not the first time he says contradictory statements like “I don’t even sleep when I sleep.” Now he’s half-singing non-sequiturs and then humming the sounds back, and he says “bro” a lot as well as “ohmygod.” Thematic continuity: saying numbers without context (and no, I know what you’re thinking, but they don’t start with the number ‘8’). He starts talking about chicken coops, then refuses to go into one. Homeboy has multiple personality disorder. What do we do?

71.          “Based In New York”: What’s fascinating about this exploration is we don’t know if he’s actually in New York or not, and have no way of knowing. We can believe him unconditionally, but this leads us towards many contradictory ends. The point is it doesn’t matter if he is or isn’t, because at this point in technology, all it takes is a shared perception of New York and we have to take it at Based value. The beat is simple, a lifeless female vocal sample says “flash/lights” a lot, and Lil B talks about weed and oral sex. I’m sold.

72.          “Game’s On Us Bra”: So the game has to change. The rap game, that is. Lil B has taken the task upon his Based shoulders, but despite promising to lay out his plan, he doesn’t. He says he’s educated, though, and I vaguely remember him talking about giving up on school. Maybe this is street knowledge (Based college). He does nominate himself for President at the end, though. Does that count as whatever he said he was going to do?

73.          “Codex” — Again with the corny sparse piano, Brandon uses a rather impressive upper register over a sparse soundscape meant to rip off adult contemporary. An interesting idea, but the poor mixing of the backing drum fails to go anywhere. Subject matter is particularly un-Based.L

74.          “I’m Based”: HEAD-BANGER, and plus he is actually rapping. Which is a real relief because A) this is track 72 and it is 3:12 in the morning and B) this is a song about the one thing he talks about more than anything, and if he can’t string together a verse on it, he is not Miley Cyrus. Woop woop. This is the perfect combination of weird, raw and catchy. Basedically, Best New $wagger and a hint that he could be talented if he dedicated as much time to everything as he does to this word. But what does it mean to be Based? He’s not that good, come on now.

75.          “Let Me Live (Tribute To Peace)”: His tribute to peace is only 71 seconds long, and includes the phrase “Let me live, b—ch.” Important because he declares this song a Based freestyle after the fact.

76.          “Da Hottest Based Boy”: BUT NOT TWICE IN A ROW. He quickly declares the freestyle, then declares himself on fire, flyer, and higher, and a sire. But there’s a newfound intensity that is making this pretty enjoyable, even though he’s talking about nothing. Thematic continuity: declares self German, American, Japanese and Chinese without context.

77.          “I Wanna Be Bill Gates”: When Lil B stole this sample, Arcade Fire was not a Grammy-award winning band. But by virtue of stealing this sample, they basically were. What’s noteworthy here is he used the whole song, even drums. It helps, allows him to go fast, but he didn’t erase Lose Butler’s vocals. Since The Arcade Fire clashes with everything already, Lil B’s nerd wheeze is no exception. Luckily, Lil Boss keeps it safe, rapping about money, cars and bros. Best line: wanting to rock-on like Avril Lavigne. Second best line: talking about blowjobs the next time he opens his mouth. Third best line: running out of material with two minutes to go in the Arcade Fire song, not cutting the song, talking about Berkeley for two minutes, and mispronouncing “MySplace” in the process.

78.          “Beach Boy Brandon”: No way. For two uninterrupted minutes, he does a Beach Boy round. It’s…pretty good. Much better than “Purple Weed,” and goes back to my theory that the best songs involve Lil B not rapping.

79.          “Big Dreams (Remix)”: “I told these hoes I’m celibate/It’s obvious I multiply/Put my d—k up in the sky/Put my brain up in the clouds,” and that’s all I got.

80.          “Trapped With Questions – No Answers”: This track is unremarkable, until he just goes nuts. Okay here he actually gives some answers, ready? “Life’s on paper/And life’s a test/And life is air/And air is breath/And breath is sight/And sight is steps/And steps is me/And I’m the best, b—ch” and he declares he will freestyle everything now. Based freestyle, straight from the space station.

81.          “BasedGod: Part 1”: Didn’t this song already happen? Well here he pretends to be white nerds listening to Lil B, and then the sample comes in. I had to go through a bunch of Snoop and Dre songs to figure out where this sample came from because I’m tired, but then I got depressed that I’m listening to this. But the way he throws BasedGod over said mystery sample is kinda catchy. But he didn’t write it, furthering the internet copycat vibe. Of note: says swag.

82.          “Thank You Support: Part 1”: Organs!! Feels the need to spell his name letter by letter!! Dedicates the song to the people!! Obviously, he actually raps and does a good job. The old-feeling smooth jazz that dominated some of the album’s worst cuts here takes its proper place (sample role under a jazzy beat) and his anti-hating rap goes somewhere, making a positive statement I can get with. Of note: mentions “Fly Like An Eagle.” SO, like, not only is this Best New $wagger but it’s a complete song. Maybe one of five so far. But then he talks about realness for a long while and says non-reals don’t like him, which is thematically discontinuous with how virtual his persona is.

83.          “The Letter, The Prayer: Part 1”: Old-school Based style. If you’ve been reading all of this, you probably know what this means, so I’ll answer your questions. The sample that he takes the beat away from is “In The End” by Linkin Park, and the “deep” subject matter is AIDS and Hurricaine Katrina (“Maiiin I hate the hurricaines/Man I hate the earthquakes/When the earth shakes it makes me mad/Pray for homeless/And the homeless everyone that’s lonely/I pray for you/Hope is coming soon.”). There’s one part where the piano almost drops, he asks everyone to put their lighters in the air (what?) and if the beat came in, it could be awesome. Doesn’t happen, continues talking about armed forces and natural disasters as if they’re the same thing, and serious-voice and joke-voice go over each other. Polyphonic nightmare. WAIT OH MY GOD at the end he says “I’ll pray for you, maybe even Jews.” What? Maybe he said “two” he doesn’t speak well.

84.          “Lions, Tigers and Bears”: You know this one is going to be good. Best New $wagger on the title alone, and now I’m going to listen to it. He rhymes “invincible” with “pencil” only he ends them both with the syllable “-al.” The beat is funky but so murky that it’s disorienting, and he is so high that he can’t speak a full sentence without his mouth drying up.

85.          “It’s Alright”: 80s smooth jams, could this be Lil B’s adult contemporary crossover hit? No, because he sings. And it’s about going to the grass, and to the sea. I love how Based symbolism amounts to saying words and forcing the listener to make free-associations. Might make more sense if we remember that Lil B is meant to be an alien. Thematic continuity: reciting numbers, spelling his own name.

86.          “I’m A Rockstar”: His idea of what it means to be a rock star is to have sex, smoke weed and say random words about his genitalia (“get my d—k licked in a photo,” “scrape”). Thematic continuity: things that aren’t quite true.

87.          “George Clooney”: White-boy approved corny sample as he raps about being Based God. Wait, the sample is totally “Tequila” which would make sense because George Clooney was in Ocean’s 11 …and wore sweaters? Of note: he actually raps in a way that respects the sample, and who’d have thunk it but it sounds pretty cool.

88.          “We Jammin’”: Oh, since he likes weed he’s now automatically Jamaican, right? Surprised it took this long to get calypso melodies, a fake accent, and oh wait he doesn’t know what Jamaica is like (“I’m looking for the…pom pom. The ladies with the pom pom”). And then that becomes the theme of his fake-accent-sung song. By theme I mean the only line is “When we get the ladies, tell them to bring the pom pom” for the entire first verse.

89.          “I’m Online”: The truest song title so far. Don’t listen to it, it’s just awful though. Wait, listen to it, with a smooth guitar solo, no subject matter, and annoying annunciation, it’s the perfect summation of this album so far. And he says trill a lot at the end.

90.          “Smoking Blunts And Getting High”: Remember when I said it took way too long before he used a fake Jamaican accent? Second time in three songs, baby. Thematic continuity: temporal discontinuity (it’s Summer time). I’m starting to notice that his talking voice and rap voice are identical, as are his dictions and flows. He starts listing off numbers about halfway through.

91.          “I’m In A Video Game”: He talks about wanting to be the alien (and his level) and I’m wondering if there are different levels of Lil B, some of who believe what he is saying and others are aware of the wishful thinking. Says “get me out of this Based world.” Thematic continuity: multiple personality disorder. At one point the bass line takes a turn for the Mario and it’s awesome.

92.          “10,000,000”: I could see listening to this song and having a seizure. The production is so scattered and awful that it tricks you into thinking he’s on the beat. He also “one hundred thousand” a lot, which is not the name of this song. Things mellow down into really base, not Based, club music. I want to cry.

93.          “I Ain’t Playin’”: Spells his own name, sounds kinda scary and intense, could be promising. But the flow is lazy, overly self-affirmative, and only about weed and money. And naming Japanese words that rhyme.

94.          “Twilight Catch”: Has nothing to do with Twilight, has more to do with being a “catch” so he says he’s going to throw a ball at ‘her.’ Names a bunch of numbers to the point that it constitutes the entire second ‘verse.’

95.          “I Kissed A Girl”: Oh yeah, it is. This is honestly one of the most infectious songs on here, and I mean that in the worst possible way. His wheezy voice keeps saying “I Kissed A Girl,” “yeaaauhhh,” and “Girrrurrll,” and it’s so awful. I wonder if he understands why it was important that a female sang this song. He says a bunch of numbers, and gets off more on the idea that she knew his music than that she was attractive.

96.          “Créu”: Oh, good, it’s a song for his Latin women. And Hispanic. And Dominican. I recommend this one so you can hear what he thinks sounds “Latin.” Because it’s just synth in a different key and a different flow. At least he talks about hips, which I guess is appropriate, but then again, “OH MY GOD, CREAM PIE” is a serious lyric, so who knows.

97.          “Cookies and Planes”: What does this even mean? Forgot that question when he kept saying “we pure like dirt.” Smooth jazz again. I have written almost 6000 words so far and am wondering if I have written this much in one sitting ever in my life before.

98.          “Till The Day That I Die”: Same kinda-Dre beats that are kinda cool but getting old because they are literally the only thing that sounds good for him. And he says trill, quite a lot. And how he has to keep it real. And how you must wear your own, personal sweater (and get it back when it’s done). I don’t even know.

99.          “I’m Just Pretty”: So the sample is “Billie Jean” and it is the soundtrack as Lil B has a gender crisis, declare himself a “pretty b—ch” who has the ladies going crazy. Whatever, I’m going to download the new Waka Flocka Flame mixtape.

100.       “In Dis Sun B—ch””: This beat sounds like it was sampled from the theme from The Exorcist, all shrill piano layered over throbbing bass. Lil B’s verses echo nicely and It sounds sinister but also a little bit dumb. I’m not sure what it’s about, besides looking cool.

101.       “Can I Bust Tonight”: Oh my god. Lil B is singing. He is singing “Can I get some tonight” and “can I bust tonight” over the tune of “Can You Feel The Love Tonight.” From the Lion King. There’s no rapping. He’s singing. Oh my god.  This is only the second song of my section of Lil B songs. I’m stunned. I love him. I’m in love with him.

102.       “Pure Game: Part 1”: “Can I Bust Tonight” segues nicely into this. It has a lovely romantic horn in the background going—I think it’s a sample, but I can’t place it.  He raps smoothly about smoking weed. I’m liking the theme of these ballads.

103.       “Mario Dat B—ch”: This is the third song (out of four) that has opened with “Based freestyle in this b—ch I don’t think Lil B actually writes anything. But this song is an upbeat shift from the past two ballads. The sample is sound effects from the Mario Bros games (specifically the jump noise, the coin noise, and the growing big size). The Mario jumping sample is layered over the bass—it’s hypnotic. I don’t know exactly how to “Mario that b—ch” but—but I want to know.

104.       “8 Long”: Another slow beat, with a slow-moving synth in the background. I think his slower beats are stronger than his dance beats (see Mario Dat B—ch) The beat coupled with the echo on his vocals slows it down further; it sounds like being stoned.

105. “Reggie For 3”: This one’s a classic “club hit.” The bass is pounding and threatens to overthrow the rest of the beat, the only other part of which that stands out is a high-pitched looping series of synth notes while Lil B repeats “Reggie For 3.” Were this mixtape to have singles, this song would definitely be in the running, simply because the repetitiveness of the chorus coupled with heavy bass would guarantee asses on the dance floor. Best New $wagger

106.       “Dat Clappa”: Mmm, it’s refreshing to hear a beat I know and love. Here Lil B freestyles over “3 Peat” by Lil Wayne and it’s not nearly as good. Because you know how good the original is, Lil B’s rhymes just fade into the background as you imagine Lil Wayne rapping instead.

107.       “Give Up The Ghost” — Thematic continuity: picking up where “Codex” left off, only this time with an acoustic guitar that I swear sounds organic. This one builds until Brandon coos about swag a cappella, echoing “Beach Boy Brandon.” Really boring.

108.       “Gotta Find Dat Winner”: Another beat I like: “So Sick” by Ne-Yo. Like “So Sick,” here Lil B pines for love—he wants his “winner.” The beat doesn’t overshadow him this time, it actually adds a pleasant snare and unique synth line (during which Lil B stops rapping entirely so you can properly appreciate it).

109.       “Hyphy”: I almost want to believe Lil B is trying here! In the first verse, his flow is more aggressive than it usually is, but that quickly ends, and returns it its lethargic molasses flow, which is a strange contradiction to the snappy female vocal hook.

110.       “Hot Girl (Remix)”: This sounds like three beats haphazardly smashed together. Synth and bass come in and out as they please. Mostly it’s Lil B yelling over his own vocals (I think?). That qualifies as a remix, I guess. I’ve never heard the original. (Relevant quote: “Haters y’all can suck my damn.)

111.       I Need A Based B—ch”: Okay, this is what Lil B sound sounds like. It’s silly. It has a bubbly synth and a fun horn section. I think his verses are just nonsense, but it has a pacing that’s funny and strange and random sound effects come in an out (did I just hear a cell phone?). When he yells “I need a based ass b—ch” at the same time as the horns in the beat go, I have to smile.

112.       “I Need The Bab-ay”: Thanks, Lil B, for spelling this phonetically. I think “bab-ay” is a euphemism for drugs. This beat is super 80s. Also, Lil Bi is pretty needy.

113.       “Max Payne”: He’s rapping over the Max Payne theme music – that’s cool. It’s sinister, threatening music. Lil B ruins it a little bit by saying “Max Payne. The video game. That s—t is crazy.” I’m finding myself focusing on the Max Payne theme instead of Lil B’s flow.

114.       “I’m Still Here”: This is an intermission. Lil B wants to you to know he’s not stopping. Those are the lyrics to this song. The mixtape is nowhere near over.

115.       “The Based Promise: Part 1”: Another piano sample I can’t identify. I’m really beginning to like the pretty piano-heavy beats coupled with Lil B’s messy flow. Oh, and the “based promise” is that he’s gonna be based forever.

116.       “Who’s Hotter Than B?”: Another “club hit,” but not nearly as good as Reggie For 3. And no, Lil B, I don’t know anyone hotter than you.

117.       “From Square One”: “Feeling like Celine Dion. No homo.” Lil B contemplatively lists his dreams”: “I want to be on top. Educated. Non stop” It’s almost poignant. The more I hear the “ballads” on this mixtape the more I believe that Lil B creates obsessively to fill some void in his soul. “Where do I go from here?” he says. Perhaps he needs to fill his time as much as he needs to rap, hence the weird mix of terrible and awesome tracks on this mixtape. He doesn’t care if it’s hit or miss.

118.       “Based For Life”: Lil B, you better be based for life. You already promised that you’d be based forever, three tracks earlier. It opens with “We are not the same, I am a cyborg,” which is a reference to “we are not the same, I am a martian,” which is a Lil Wayne lyric. Lil B needs to stop doing that, because then I just think about how bad Lil B is in comparison to Lil Wayne.

119.       “Sonic World”: Sampling another video game, which me and the five other reviewers couldn’t place (much to our chagrin) but I’d assume it’s a Sonic theme due to the title. “It’s like I’m stuck in a video game,” Lil B says at the end, “and I can never get out.” Unexpected thoughtfulness at the end of such an ADD track, is this how Lil B considers his life?

120.       “The Based Anthem”: God, do I respect a rapper who can sample the national anthem after a video game song. “Constructive criticism is good—but always know I’m the best.” Lil B. I want to be just like you.

121.       “Live Positive”: Honestly, I thought this was going to be a song about HIV/AIDS. But it’s actually about being optimistic in your life. It’s a sweet, heartfelt message from Lil B—oh—it’s over already?

122.       “What Would You Do?”: Okay, this is just as heartfelt as “Live Positive,” but in a totally different way. It’s “What would you do for a nut?” and it’s about Lil B not being able to perform adequately in bed. Lil B is laying himself bare here—how many rappers do you know that would rap about being anything less than amazing in the sack? The sexy bassline and female vocal hook is a nice touch. Lil B appears to be the king of contradictions. I’m really beginning to dig it. Best New $wagger

123.       “Suck My DAMN Rockerchick”: The beat samples something I don’t know, and it’s the first instance of guitars on this album. It sounds dangerously close to the Power Rangers theme song. The lyrics are exactly what you think they will be.

124.       “I See In Colors”: This song is boring.

125.       “8 U Win”: He samples “Like You,” by Bow Wow featuring Ciara. This is one of those times where I ignore Lil B in favor of listening to the beat because I love that song and haven’t heard it in ages. Lil B chooses great beats ,but often, he’s not good enough to hold his own over it.

126.       “Stop Callin’ My Phone”: This beat is irritating—it has a shrill cell phone in the background that chirps periodically to represent how often Lil B is called and how often he doesn’t answer.

127.       “Who Am I?”: Who hasn’t asked themselves this very question? “Trying to decipher between a man and a boy,” Lil B says of himself—only to follow it up with “I know I’m Based God.” It’s like he desperately wants to be honest with his audience but at the last second, he can’t do it, and falls back on the Based God character or mentality. This mixtape seems to have moments of stark, striking honesty buried beneath the discussion of b—ches and based-ness.

128.       “I’m Digital”: Another boring song. I was hoping it’d sample Daft Punk. No such luck.

129.       “What Is Based?”: I wish I knew. “Once again, I don’t freestyle. I base freestyle.” What does that even mean? This song is mostly Lil B talking over a strange remix of Queen’s “We Are The Champions.” He does not once explain what “based” is.

130.       “Imma Be Based For Life”: Despite that, he’s gonna be based for life, while rapping over TI’s “Whatever You Like.” The beat doesn’t swallow him like it does on the Lil Wayne samples, and his flow fits neatly over the TI beat—the chorus is the same as the original, just a bit sloppier.

131.       “License To Kill”: Shockingly enough, Lil B samples the License To Kill theme. The levels are wrong and the theme is way too quiet under his vocals. Other than that, it’s amazing—the sample loops the vocals of “kill” over and over again, taking something campy and turning it into something nefarious.

132.       “Hunned Racks”: Boring again! C’mon Lil B!

133.       “I’m On The Grind”: He’s redeemed himself. This is a positively Eurovision beat with a spastic synth and heavy bass. It has that video game flair without being a sample from a game. Lil B sounds a little out of place over it, but it’s forgivable.

134.       “Get Papeah”: I love these phonetic track titles. He uses a very fitting sample of “Get Money” by Junior M.A.F.I.A featuring the Notorious BIG, but B’s success fades in and out. In certain places, his flow picks up to something quick and sharp and he holds his own over this famous beats, but at other points he slips into his slow-moving lethargic flow and it just doesn’t work. This is one of those beats he probably shouldn’t have tried to conquer.

135.       “The Boss”: THIS BEAT IS COOL and Lil B doesn’t sound great on it. It’s “Trill Recognize Trill” by Bun B featuring Ludacris. I’m getting bored.

136.       “Best Dressed”: This time he’s rapping over “Stay Fly” by Three Six Mafia and again I’m thinking about how much better the original is.

137.       “My Receipt”: STOP RAPPING OVER LIL WAYNE BEATS

138.       “F—king With That B—ch”: This is better. Or maybe I’m just glad to not hear a Lil Wayne beat. “I’m not a thug, but I’m on some ill s—t,” Lil B says. Nice to hear him concede that point, the self-degradation is becoming some of my favorite parts. Am I getting bitter?

139.       “Based Check-In”: This time he’s sampling “Yeah” by Usher, aka the ULTIMATE club anthem and the only song guaranteed to get every girl on the dance floor. Here he calls himself “Mr. Myspace” and “Mr. Internet.” He doesn’t seem to be rapping—he’s just speaking over the beat. Somehow, that makes it better. This is another one of those beats that would swallow Lil B’s flow if he tried to go with it. By being off-beat and strange he stands out. I thought I’d get mad hearing Lil B over one of my favorite songs, but somehow I’m not. I think this is one of his “intermission” tracks, but I can’t tell you why it’s over four minutes.

140.       “Dun Wit It”: This is a Chamillionaire beat. Did anyone ever even listen to Chamillionaire?

141.       “I’m Still In Her Mind”: I’m so bored. This sucks.

142.       “BasedGod (Remix)”: Finally! Here he’s rapping over the Castlevania theme (I think?) and, God, he’s so much better when not comparing himself to other (often better) rappers by rapping over their beats. This isn’t even great but in comparison to the last string of terrible samples, it’s such a breath of fresh air.

143.       “Jay-Z”: “Shout out to my boy Jay-Z,” Lil B, have you ever even met Jay-Z? He wants to be famous so bad it’s endearing.

144.       “My Ovation”: No, Lil B, you don’t get one.

145.       “Based Knowledge”: “I ain’t even passed high school, but I want to go back to school.” Another one of Lil B’s moments of honestly. This song has a nice, slow beat. I want to like it but I can’t. I’m so mad about the past string of bad songs.

146.       “Life’s Lessons Are In You”: What is this title? This beat sounds like something that would play in the background of a Geocities fan site for Golden Girls. I don’t know what he’s talking about but I think he’s trying to encourage me to be a better person. I want to die.

147.       “ASS On Deck (Remix)”: I don’t know if I can comfortably listen to this after Life’s Lessons Are In You. See “ASS On Deck.”

148.       “She’s In My Dreams”: The sample here is a weird chipmunk remix of Rachael Lampa’s “If You Believe.” I think this is supposed a romantic song”: “I’m gonna write you a letter, I need a sweater, because I’m cold, because I’m cold, because I’m cold.” In which Lil B runs out of raps.

149. “Camp 22s”: Wow, this came out of the gate and punched me in the throat. This beat is seriously awesome”: reminiscent of Missy Elliot’s “Lose Control.” Chorus is catchy, beat is completely infectious and in-your-face and strangely unique. Wow. I can’t even properly absorb it because I’ve heard so many bad songs in a row. Best New $wagger

151.       “P.A.N. (Remix)”: “I don’t like saying the n-word too much,” says Lil B, who has dropped the n-bomb at least four times (that I can remember). Oh, P.A.N. stands for P—SY ASS N–GAS. It’s a song for his haters. It has a pretty cool synth but that’s all it has going for it.

152.       “My DAMN Licked, My Nuts Sucked”: Ah, what a pleasant state of being. I’m bored again.

153.       “So Illy”: This is terrible. I’m losing my mind.

154.       “I’m Runnin, I’m Fallin”: THIS SOUNDS LIKE EVERY OTHER SLOW SONG

155.       “High All The Time”: I wish I was, especially now. Sounds exactly like the last song.

156.       “The Sea”: This actually has a really nice beat. I’m enjoying listening to it. It’s slow-moving and making me sleepy, like the tides. In and out, in and out. It almost drowns out Lil B’s whiny flow. I’m focusing on the beat.

157.       “High Like B—ches”: Sampling M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes”? How novel!! I’m hearing like four different remixes of this song in my mind right now instead of Lil B’s.

158.       “700 (Remix)”: Sounds like something straight out of Space Jam.

159.       “I’m Locked Up”: I’m a sucker for any kind of choral sample and this song has a good one. Though I think with rap behemoths like Lil Wayne and Gucci Mane currently releasing songs about prison, Lil B shouldn’t even try.

160.       “Sending Shots”: He keeps calling himself “Beezy B,” this is a new development on this album. This beat is fresh, it’s got a DMX-esque series of gruff dog-like barks under the dark bass and swirly synth. He’s beginning to contradict himself—why did he just say he quit smoking? I thought he loved weed! I feel lost. I feel lost in a labyrinth of Lil B.

161.       “Based College Intro”: This is Lil B’s “Picasso blues s—t” (he said that, I swear). This beat sounds like something that plays under public access television when it’s listing events in the community. Again with the theme of Lil B being cold: “I’m froze ‘cause I’m cold.” Why is he cold so often? I vote loneliness.

162.       “Bam Bam”: God, this beat is scary. I feel like Lil B is sneaking up on me with some kind of weapon. I feel trapped. I don’t think I can turn it off. I think I’m trapped. I’m trapped in Lil B.

163.       “I’m Not Normal”: I can’t identify this beat but it’s something ‘80s. It makes me feel like I’m in some demonic Lil B version of The Breakfast Club.

164.       “Based Freestyle In HELL”: “You’re never getting out of here, ever!” Lil B exclaims at the beginning of this track. Somehow this is incredibly terrifying. At this point in the mixtape, I believe him.

165.       “Seduce Me”: A glorious, straightforward example of pure, unadulterated misogyny. It’s about women trying to make him cheat. If he cheats on his girlfriend with other women, it’s the fault of the women. Over a romantic beat. Do I pity him? Do I hate him? Do I want to heal him? How do I feel?

166.       “All I Got”: Take a breather. Pound a beer or two. Let’s get back into this monster. The combination of the dramatic marching band drum beat, the children’s chorus, and Lil B’s echoing vocals (always with the echoing, why?) creates an Eminem-esque feel to this track, but it’s not as good as Eminem. He needs to kick up the anger. Every moment of anger is followed with a snippet of humor. He diffuses it, just like he does with his honesty—why does he need to hide behind the laughs?

167.       “Do Dumb Wild”: I don’t understand this song or this beat. I want to like it, for some reason, but the combination of horns and synth is a little much. I feel myself getting dumber. Is that the point?

168.       “Can’t Stop Me”: Instead of the usual echoing under his vocals, here Lil B is doing his own backup, with drunken enhancements like “Awwwwww,” “what,” and “uh-huh.” It’s fairly distracting and takes away from the beat, which is basic, but not bad. When you imagine the song without the weird backup, it’s better. I can’t figure Lil B out. I can’t decide if he thinks he is fleshing his songs out, or adding a layer of humor. I don’t understand his motivation.  I want to, but I don’t.

169.       “Stick It Party”: This one is straight hypnosis—the bulk of the beat is two notes repeated, hazy and vibrating and sounding like space, layered over a basic bass, with Lil B’s vocals on top. And his lyrics are brutally repetitive (“stick it in stick it out” repeat times a million) and you just fall into it.

170.       “Like Yurin”: I don’t want to listen to a song about urine.

171.       “Cash Papeah”: More phonetic titles that are significantly less funny the second time around. This one’s another instance of Lil B being swallowed by his beat. It’s frantic and heavy and does not fit B’s mild flow and he doesn’t catch up until the end, when the synth is overtaken by the bass. Against the bass, he sounds great. The synth entirely drowns him out. Also, he’s all about cash paper. I don’t know any of the other lyrics.

172.       “Looking For A Girlfriend”: Oh my god. This beat sounds like something from a music box. And he says he’s looking for “the baddest b—ch ever.” And he wants to “f—k her like dogs f–.” All over this sweetheart beat. I don’t think Lil B knows how to interact with women. No wonder you’re looking for a girlfriend, dude. “Looking for a girl to be my personal slut. Gonna f—k her in the butt.” POETRY.

173.       “Close My Eyes”: He keeps speeding up his samples—this one is strikingly similar to that terrible ‘We Are The Champions’ sample. He keeps promising to be the best, while simultaneously asking life not to pass him by. It’s a strange juxtaposition. He claims to be the best, but fears that he isn’t living up to his potential. Who are you, Lil B? Who are you compared to who you wish you were?

174.       “I, Robot”: Lil B is Based Robot and Based God at the same time. This is one of those rare moments where I wish I understood Lil B’s mythology. Worth listening for Lil B’s terrible attempt at making a record scratching noise.

175.       “Hey”: He’s referencing songs that played really recently, specifically that urine song and “I, Robot.” And yes, the chorus is Lil B going “Heeeeeeeeey.”

176.       “Lil B Spazzes Out”: Sample”: Lil Wayne’s “P—sy Money Weed.” Apparently this is the “Best Dressed” remix even though it’s not called that at all. This is probably the best example of terrible sampling in the history of the world. He leaves Lil Wayne in the chorus  “I love her like p—sy money weed,” and wails “I’m best dressed” over it. After the chorus, Lil B is completely and amazingly awesome. He starts yelling “I’m not gonna freestyle over this because I don’t want to. I’m gonna talk to this beat if I want to. And I’m still gonna get paid.” He just stops rapping and starts yelling. The beat keeps going and Lil B is yelling and not rapping and just, what is he doing? Why is he doing this? He never starts rapping. He just talks and laughs and asks them to stop recording him. Oh and this song is over six minutes long. Best New $wagger

177.       “Armageddon”: This sounds like it was recorded in space. The sample is unearthly voices echoing and looping under B’s echoing flow. I think this is what Armageddon will sound like.

178.       “I’m Voting For Obama”: Huh, I really would’ve pinned B as a McCain supporter. “I know this is gon be his first time being president, and he might make some mistakes, but that’s gonna come real good, because he’s gonna make the change for the world, and bring us out the hood.” So that’s why we elected him.

179.       “So Fresh”: Holy poor mixing, Batman! This beat is so quiet. I can barely hear the girls going “Fresh!” in the background. It really takes away from the whole experience.

180.       “Hunned Thousand (Remix)”: I’m so into the phonetic titles. Here he samples 50 Cent’s “Ayo Technology,” which is a GREAT song that no one listened to. If I remember correctly it really flopped on the charts, which sucks, because it’s a great song with a sick beat. This version would definitely be enhanced by some Justin Timberlake though.

181. “Sexy Boy”: Is this legal? Lil B doesn’t rap. It’s just the song “Sexy Boy” by Shawn Michaels, no remixing, no rapping, nothing. And it’s stuck in the middle of this mixtape. Oh, and Shawn Michaels is a WWF professional wrestler. “Sexy Boy” is his theme music. What? Best New $wagger

182.       “Love Yourself”: I think Lil B is trying to hypnotize me. He’s trying to pull me into Based World and become a Based God. To do this, I have to 1) Not be jealous 2) Love myself and be comfortable with myself. The synth comes about halfway through and I really think I’m losing consciousness.

183.       “BasedGod (3mix)”: The creepy synth transitions perfectly and I barely noticed the song shift. It’s probably the first and only instance of a really nice transition on this mixtape.

184.       “The Three L’s”: Do I even want to know what the Three L’s are? It opens with Lil B rapping over the sound of rain. This mixtape is steadily getting creepier. Lil B lets us in on the secret that “the only way to get love is to transmit love” over the sound of thunder. This is so ineloquent.

185.       “Suck My F—king DAMN”: Okay, here’s the B we know and love. It’s about as good as all his other damn-sucking songs.

186.       “Bout Whatever”: The best part of this R&B jam (which he claims cost $30,000) is the part where Lil B misspells his own name as L-I-B-O-S-S.

187.       “Put It In The Air”: Put your blunt in the air! It’s like waving a lighter, but infinitely more awesome.

188.       “I Helped The World”: I don’t believe you, Lil B. “I call it PTS—Positive.” Oh. Also, “Life is kind of like a night stand. It can tip over when you use your right hand.” He’s saying things that I think I understand, but then I back up feel confused and alone.

189.       “New Age Hippie”: He raps over Dagda’s “Celtic Trance,” which is creates a nice, stoner-y companion to that song where he raps over Riverdance.

190. “Lil B Explains The Ocean”: He’s talking over something that I think is supposed to sound like waves and bubbles. He’s trying to hypnotize me again. He wants me to “close [my] eyes and let the colors take over.” He’s not explaining the ocean. He’s explaining what happens after you die (I think?) when we are all surrounded by beautiful colors. He ends by saying “I told you, and I promise.” I feel like I’ve just watched the video tape in The Ring. I feel like Lil B is going to come find me as I’m sleeping and drown me. Best New $wagger

191.       “Respect The Earth”: I spoke too soon. The transition from the last song into this one is well-done, I guess because neither this nor “Ocean” have a beat. Lil B is telling me that life is amazing. “Look at the birds, even to the insects. Everything that’s outside is amazing—how did it get there?” I’m not stoned enough for this.

192.       “You Broke My Heart”: Trance beat featuring Lil B saying “B—ch,”  “Why did you leave,” and “Based freestyle.”

193.       “Sex Noise”: Pump up the 90s!! The sample is SWV’s “Weak” and it’s incredibly cheesy. There’s a serious lack of sex noises in this song for it to be called “Sex Noise.”

194.       “Like Yurin (Remix)”: I can’t take this. I can’t take any song that has Lil B saying “urine” over and over again.

195.       “B—ch I’m Bout Racks”: Another TI sample, this time it’s “What You Know About That.” He’s proud of his “three to four million views” on Myspace. I don’t think anyone told Lil B that Myspace is no longer relevant.

196.       “Dun Dun”: There are two layers of Lil B rapping. One is him talking and one is him making strange noises. I’m uncomfortable.

197.       “B—hes”: Part 1”: This beat is ill. Apparently it’s Gucci Mane’s “Pyrex Pot” which I’ve never heard but I’m turning off Lil B and listening to Gucci Mane’s Trap House (Chopped and Screwed). Thank you Based God.

198.       “Based In England”: A classic, I remember reading about this one on nationofthizzlam, a site which I guess is now defunct. The premise is that Lil B is in England, partying and smoking weed. “If there’s a sorcerer and Ima kill the dragon?”  Also Based nobleman is apparently a level of Based (See “Ain’t No Stoppin”)

199.       “Bay Area S—t”: Sure Lil B makes some genre bending music like his ambient mixtape Dior Paint (“I am a Bird Now,” anyone?) but sometimes he just has to rep the bay. A pretty straightforward track. Amusing mentions of airbrushed shirts and Barack Obama.

200.       “Aint No Stoppin’ (Skit)”: Makes me imagine a Lil B “Based” version of Lil Wayne’s Rebirth. He also includes the urlwww.myspace.com/packalbums, which turns out to be the first in a long trail of digital breadcrumbs that lead you to his ~150 myspaces. He wasn’t joking when he rapped “I made 900 songs and they’re easy to find.” His description of the “levels of Based” is also awesome:http://www.myspace.com/packalbums/blog/486780657

201.       “I Can’t Stop This”: Straight up Based freestyle, martial “beat” with Lil B rap-talking.

202.       “No your role: “Do you smell what the rock is cookin’?” is always going to be a great sample. More rapping than singing ridiculous hooks, but no standout lines.

203.       “It’s My Heart: Starting with some cannibalistic imagery – “my n—–s hungry baby, yeah we want them bodies, we eatin’ everything, we eatin’ anybody.” Lil B also claims 32 different personalities.

204.       “Head Bounce”: I was just sitting here thinking how I hadn’t had an overtly sexual song yet, knowing Lil B there a hundreds on this tape. But really this is a song about what a girl’s head does while giving head on the dance floor.

205.       “I Don’t Give A F—k”: Straightforward, Lil B rapping about the titular subject, especially regarding women, and how they love him anyway.

206.       “Outerspace”: Momentum shift, Based freestyle about a childhood romance that moves on to how she wants to go to space with him. “I just wanna be in the snow with you.” Lil B wants privacy on this slow jam, and space is the place.

207.       “That Bo”: Over Biggie’s “Big Poppa.” Successfully reappropriated into a rap about promethazine. Not something I’d necessarily associate with Lil B but he actually probably has done/does a lot of drugs. “I’m a wizard but I’m not a wizard.” But hey, bonus slang I’ve never heard and would probably be uncomfortable using – bo is codeine cough syrup.

208.       “On My D—k”: Shouts out to Dipset for this one, I guess that’s who this vocal sample is. Where Lil B’s beats come from is a mystery. He produces some of them himself, and his alter ego Dior Paint produced an album of the same name. But he occasionally shouts out people he gets beats from (e.g. Salem on “Slangin’ Yayo”)

209.       “Ova a B—ch”: Thank you Based God, Lil B rapping over gangsta’s paradise. It’s a song for young men pining over women.  Lil b also claims he would rather rob girls than date them when he was younger. Strong “bros over hoes” message, unfortunately Lil B does a little more singing than I like to hear.

210.       “O Yes” nobody does the repeated vocal sample like Lil B – in this case mostly “oh, yes.” That’s what women say to him.

211.       “No chains”: Pretty cool sample of a car peeling out at the beginning. Trying to fight Lil B is like trying to fight the entire earth, down to the “whales in the ocean.”

212.       “100,000 Blunts and Counting”: slower song, Lil B is the ocean. A lot of wordplay, reminds me a little of a Based Gram-o-rama.

213.       “40 Licks”: A song about all the money you can get from crime, sounds pretty awesome. Describing a clique and how they robbed 40 liquor stores.

214.       “Welcome to Basedworld (skit)”: Lil B can laugh pretty demonically when he wants. Very survival of the fittest over a menacing beat, just B talking – “Barack Obama’s president, b—-.”

215.       “Based Robot (Remix)” Chiptune Lil B, not nearly enough rapping though, just a lot of singing hooks and telling women to get naked. Was hoping this would elaborate more on his Lil B as robot theme.

216.       “My swipe”: Beat by the guy that did that one Yung Joc song. This doesn’t even sound like Lil B really but I guess it is.

217.       “Crank Dat”: Definitely a #rare guest spot, maybe it’s Soulja Boy – one of the first rappers to work with Lil B, rumor has it that he heard B say “thirty thousand, one hundred million” and decided they had to do a track together. Devolves into a song about getting head, go figure.

218.       “It’s Whateva”: Is this a guest verse or just sampled wholesale? Lil B raps for the last minute of this 4:15 track, boasts that he’s your favorite rapper’s ghostwriter.

219.       “Drip 4 A Stunna”: Another awesome beat, the past 3 have had a kind of Southern lean to them. Also another song that doesn’t sound much like Lil B. Not much to say about this one.

220.       “Video Game Flow”: I wish I knew what video game this samples. Not as good as “I Love Video Games” on Evil Red Flame but similar thematically. Not much rapping here, Lil B doesn’t like to rap much over chiptune.

221.       “My N—as Go”: A little diss on nerds and Lil B is going to move to the suburbs because he’s rich. Fatigue is setting in, imagining what it would be like if Lil B were my neighbor. I like to imagine we’d get along pretty well.

222.       “On A Lake”: Some pretty scary laughter, “Welcome to my mind… you’re never gonna leave, you’re never getting out of here.” No thanks, Lil B is making “Based world” sound terrifying.

223.       “Suck My D—k Techno”: Pretty self-explanatory. Continuity: relying on the use of the word scraper.

224.       “Chopped and Screwed”: Shouts out to down South. A little rap about how Lil B owns a lot of Bape and shoes. “Whatever I do is a masterpiece.” Although it’s a little ridiculous to hear B brag about his shoes when he actually wears the same pair of “$45,000” vans every day. Worthhttp://www.theblastbydigiwaxx.com/2011/01/19/lil-b-exclusive-talks-about-album-and-how-his-shoes-are-worth-45000-dollars-video/

225.       “Basedlord (Remix)”: All the Based noblemen let the trumpets play. Lil B again mentions that he is the ocean, which I am prepared to agree with in that you could drown in these 676 tracks. Solid track but not essential.

226.       “Picasso Blue”: No real discernible theme here, just Lil B rapping/talking and an allusion to Picasso’s Blue Period. This feels a lot like when I had the revelation that “Trapped in the Closet” was just R. Kelly sing-talking.

227. “100 Percent On B—ches”: Kate again. I have decided that this is the greatest song title on this entire mixtape, and I want my nickname to be “100 Perfect On B—ches.” Lil B is singing again, this time over a disco sample. Oh, and at one point he tries to say numbers, and his counting goes “One two three, I’m on these b—ches. Four five six, I’m on these b—ches. Eleven, ten, twelve, thirty, sixteen, I’m on these b—ches.” Either he can’t count, or that third part is him listing the ages of his various b—ches. Either way, I’m disturbed. Best New $wagger

228.       “Little By Little”: Remember the song “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus? Sounds nothing like this one.

229.       “Hey Ho Legos”: Shawty Lo’s “Dey Know” redone here, a pretty hype beat and Lil B mentions that he has a ski mask and a bulletproof vest, if you can make it through the thirty or so seconds where it’s just Lil B saying “yeahhhhh.” The problem with Based freestyles is that Lil B actually says whatever he wants and just doesn’t stop even when he’s seriously derailed.

230.       “Scrape and Swang”: Lil B on a pretty poor imitation of a dirty South beat. Lil B rapping over elevator music about driving a car and using slang.

231.       “The Bay on Fire”: Lil B saying b—ch especially freely on this one.

232.       “Cash on Site”: Rejected cut from 808s and Heartbreak?

233.       “Water Release”: A lot of use of the word “cheese.” Excellent analogy, Lil B comparing Lil B to the wind.

234.       “Wassup Blood? Wassup Cuz?” Saw this one coming up in the queue and got excited. “Shouts out to L.A. man… in the Bay area we say blood and cuz.” Cue Lil B simulating the whole interaction and then dropping a vaguely recognizable sample on us.

235.       “Positive Check-in”: Lil B shouts out the drummer on this one but I’m pretty sure it’s a sample. Or it could be ?uestlove. Just Lil B talking about being positive – “I know some people that have no shelter man, that sleep on the ground that you pee on at night, but they’re happy. You know what that man told me, he said as long as you can make another person smile my day will always be made. That was a man that sleeps on the corner every day.” Lil B also reminds us that what he’s preaching is not religion.

236.       “Summer Stars”: Guitars get the shout out on this one. Lil B works like a boss, is a boss, has some kind of boss-related tattoo.

237.       “The Option”: What the Water Temple in Zelda: Ocarina of Time would sound like Based.

238.       40. Money – Cheddar / better / sweater rhyme to kick this one off. Kind of hard to square Lil B’s lust for money with his positive, Based preaching.

239.       “Based Boys”: “Noblemen please turn on my lights, open the doors, I will knight you, Based King.” “I’m feeling so happy about this equation / 2 +2 = Me and You.” That should suffice for this one.

240.       “All Beast”: Shouts out to Pastor Troy, who apparently was a member of the Southern rap group D.S.G.B. I really don’t know what to say about this one, Lil B just puts syllables together. “All my boys got 30,000 blunts on.”

241.       “Lil Boss Speaks”: “It’s always a Based freestyle, like I said I’ma Based freestyle ‘til I get a million, then I’ma start working on my album.” “My brain is my stomach, my heart and my stomach.” Not even pretending to rap on this one.

242.       “Chasing the Wind”: Picasso Blue Based freestyle. Maybe Lil B had his own blue period in recording Based freestyles.

243.       “Based World 1989”: Lil B was in fact born in 1989 but that has nothing to do with this song. A rap about how Lil B is trapped in Based world and seeing a lot of colors.

244.       “From Da Bottom to the Top” Feeling like Carson Daly, wants to be on MTV, sudden mood change and Lil B feels like his life is a prison.

245.       “B-Town Boys”: Distorted/blown out bass, I assume B-Town is Berkeley here. They have sex daily with women there apparently.

246.       “Smoke Blunts and Go Dumb”: See “B-Town Boys.”

247.       Dip That S—t”: Abysmal beat. May or may not be about PCP.

248.       “I Just Died – Part 1”: Is this Lil B? He sounds so different actually rapping. Ohhhh dropping the “dying in your arms tonight” sample.” Oh it’s one of the cuts with other Pack members.

249.       “L.A. to the Bay”: No doubt in my mind that this would be a hyphy track. Another guest spot. Nothing to see here.

250.       “Drop That P—sy”: Title is a pretty good indicator for this one. Lil B is “so horny in this thing.”

251.       “Based Robot (3Mix)”: Hypnotic and not particularly inventive. “Blue light green light red light green light.”

252.       “Catch Heem”: Chiptune-ish again. “Check me out, check that beautiful swag. You know I hate that word I hate saying that word,” weird admission that Lil B hates to say “swag” even though his adlibs – woo! Swag! Woo! Swag! – are sometimes the best part of his songs.

253.       “Yesss”: Hate on the boss, get fired. Lil B whispers for a while, then raps about how he’s in public housing, literally and figuratively.

254.       “BasedGod, What Are You Doing?”: Awesome. Just when my energy was flagging a little bit, Lil B raps over Linkin Park’s “Numb.” And the whole song is about getting head in public, starting with a skit in which Lil B speaks as a bystander and then as his Based God persona – “you’re messing up, you’re messing up my fun time… get away from me.” The best parts of course can’t be printed.

255.       “Look”: Lil B apologizes for any harm he’s caused physically or emotionally. Pretty much just talking here – “everybody got a quarterback option, you feel me.”

256.       “B—ches Suck My D—k”: They also tell Lil B that he’s fine, according to this song. Hypersexual, but you didn’t need me to tell you that.

257.       “I’m focused”: Who/what is “heem” and why does Lil B want to catch him/it. “When I’m mold I’m really clean yeah, so when I’m clean I’m really dirty.” Textbook Based freestyle.

258.       “Self-Discipline”: Over some kind of flute, Lil B on his samurai steez. Clothes as layers of the self, interesting. Lil B has the title, no rivals, and pays the rent.  Another “heem” mention.

259.       “Money in the Walls” Lil B is feeling relaxed. Women are liars, women are lion like tigers (get it?). Uh shouts out to Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Now he’s playing chess, sounds like he’s pawn grabbing to me. But he also hates chess because it’s a game and he doesn’t play games. Bringing the intensity on this one. Claiming the title of “Prince of the West.”

260.       “RoboTron”: Hyphy on this one, repping Bay Area. Lil B’s feeling “pure” on this one, yet again he is going to catch his heem. Unfortunately the title isn’t very descriptive, excluding a little robotic voice mixed into the beat about a minute in, a couple Terminator and Robo Cop references.

261.       “Coming from Hell” Dark synths, rapping about how he used to support himself by selling drugs.

262.       “All Day, All Night”: This one’s for the 80s babies apparently. Lil B advocates shaking women as a seductive technique. A lot about fellatio here.

263.       “Closer To Me”: Lil B rapping over some easy listening/lounge music. Just chillin’ out, being pretty boring.

264.       “Sit Back and Relax”: Fatigue is setting in.

265.       “Living On The Moon”: More lounge music with Lil B talking over it.

266.       “Water Release (Remix)”: Shouts out to Plies. “And know that life is you, and me, and trees, and earth, before I die, I had to shed a tear let me cry, release, a water release.” Heady.

267.       “Never Let Up”: A story from Lil B’s childhood. He learns that every day is small steps and little steps lead to big steps. Remember Nas’ “I Can?” Yeah.

268.       “700 on Florence” Enjoying the beat on this one. You can eat Lil B like a cheetoh or possibly a burrito. Mostly nonsense.

269.       “Hit the Top”: Closer to singing than rapping. Vague couplets about how Lil B is going to make it.

270.       “I am the Beast”: “Feed me rappers or feed me beats” is a pretty cool Lil Wayne line to sample. Lil B just takes Wayne’s stream of consciousness flow to its extreme in these Based freestyles anyway.

271.       “Coldest Winter”: To be anything Based takes self discipline, Based freestyling is a gift, not everybody has it. I would venture to say I only know one person who has been blessed with the ability to Based freestyle. Lil B describes the colors he sees around him.

272.       “Get On My Level”: Lil B rapping about how he’s on his grind over Clipse’s “Grinding.”

273.       “Goon 2 A Goblin”: Yes, the line from “A Milli” is sampled. Uninspiring guest spots.

274.       “Blabber Talk”: I feel like my brain is being rewired. Maybe these beats have a hidden binaural tone in them.

275.       “Thank You For The Support: part 2”: Starts out relatively normal, extremely upbeat techno beats 30 seconds in and Lil B professes his love for all his fans.

276.       “Dng Dong (Remix)”: Lil B just seems so out of place on tracks with any other rappers on the track, as is the case here.  Also the last rapper sounds like he’s 12.

277.       “Hitmen Squad”: Pretty much as above, the Pack in the studio.

278.       “Real N—gas”: Another posse cut, at least Lil B raps first on this one. Sticking to rapping about sex in this one.

279.       “100 Grand”: A sample of Shawty Lo’s “Dey Know.” If it sounds familiar it’s because Lil B already rapped over it on “Hey ho legos.” Kept waiting for Lil B

280.       “Myspace Page Promo”: Exists to tell you aboutwww.myspace.com/packalbums.

281.       “Smoke Screen”: What is this sample? Epic but really washed out in the background. “I see in transparent colors, my commitment to you is to remain Based for life, for eternity.” Wow the beat really changes a lot throughout this one, at least 4 different vocal samples. How has Lil B not been sued, he can’t be clearing all of these.

282.       “Porn and College”: Ok rapping over some kind of country guitar sample, a little fiddle. Title is deceptive on this one. Naming porn stars.

283.       “Cowboys”: “Ohmigod I’m still trapped in the 80s, ohmigod but I’m Based, but this is not regular, I’m Based with the cowboys.” Rapping a racially charged interaction between Lil B and a Ranger, then someone demands the sheriff arrest Lil B. But it’s Based God sheriff?

284.       “Space Sex”: Dripping noise, panting woman. Lil B doesn’t have regular sex, he has space sex.

285.       “The Box”: I can’t even pay attention to this one, Lil B just saying what’s up to people he knows.

286.       “BasedWorld Home Invasion: Part 1”: – Serious choir music on the beat. Explaining his concept of Based World by moving through a house Lil B has evidently broken into. In the kitchen a lot of people are eating, therefore in Based World we all eat, etc. Part 2 covers the upstairs, apparently.

287.       “The Big Dawg”: I got nothing.

288.       “Miami Boss”: Beat makes me feel like I’m in Miami Vice or Beverley Hills Cop. “Come talk to Based God, I’ll show you something horrible.” Based God is not a benevolent God, apparently.

289.       “Straight Spitting”: “Youtube every day on me, you really see the homie, you really see the boss full surface, you really see me 3D,” actually sums up Lil B pretty well in that he’s constantly on the internet keeping up-to-date on himself.

290.       “Amor”: “I told everyone that I was on another level and no one believed me,” Lil B complains. In today’s day and age I’m sure Jesus would empathize. I would also like to hear the logic behind some of these track names.

291.       “Worldwide Love”: Look at Lil B’s outfit. His women are pretty like “Cinderell-er.”

292.       “Based Robot (4Mix)”: “You didn’t think I was the Based robot, huh, I’m computing my computers haha, welcome to my world.” The Based Robots are assembling and they’re not leaving. It’s time to take everyone that’s not Based captive. It’s the rapture.

293.       “I’m Orange Juice”: Can’t deny I’m glad to have finished my section. “I’m in the ‘frigerator cause I’m cold and this chick open me up, drinking me up, I’m orange juice.” I don’t even know what to say about all of this. Based, y’all.

294.       “BasedWorld Home Invasion: Part 2”: “Colors are all equal depending on the transparent.” That’s how sentences work. The beat on this creeps to a cool tech jive. Then there’s an arbitrary reference to the ocean, and you know this is a Lil B joint.

295.       “Live a Legend, Die a Blessing”: If rap doesn’t work out for Lil B, he could try seminary or motivational speaking. Whether it’s the ocean, the beach, or the Japanese shogun, B finds inspiration in all walks of life and isn’t afraid to be himself. Okay, that’s all I’ve got here. I have a headache.

296.       “I’m On One”: “LIL B AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM / WHAT THE F—K, I’M ON SHROOMS” What else do you need?

297.       “Shout-Outs: Part 1”: Beginning with a sleazy saxophone, B shouts out to all his bros, stipulating after each name that he is indeed talking about them. Then, suddenly, this bursts into an ‘70s chamber pop song and B just gives up on rapping.

298.       “What I’m Sayin’”: Dr. B recommends Based Freestyles for therapy. “What’s the deal? / Yeah, what’s the deal? / I felt like I was losin’ / All the mills”. Beyond the money and the drugs and the booze and the sex and the narcissism, B is just a down-to-earth guy from 7 th Street who’s into mindfulness meditation. What a Renaissance Man.

299.       “BasedBattles (BasedGod vs. Based Demi-God)”: MORTAL KOMBAAAAT

300.       “Boss Up (Remix)”: I love the title of this song. Another “freestyle/based on me” opener; a little stale, but still a goodie. Lil B reminds us how much he loves his job and getting high. Like Megatron? Too soon?

301.       “Helly”:  Aneurysm (an-yur-ih-zm) n. 1. A cerebral bulging, weak area in the wall of an artery that supplies blood to the brain. In most cases, a brain aneurysm causes no symptoms and goes unnoticed. In rare cases, the brain aneurysm ruptures, releasing blood into the skull and causing a stroke.

302.       “Another World”: So, in this..one…B starts to make slobbery lip sound effects in lieu of an actual verse. “Everyone needs to know we’re Based, and we’re not normal. I’m not human, I’m not human. I sleep late and wake up early. I’m not human. I eat and shower the s—t, I’m not human.” Smh.

303.       “80’s Powder”: He is referring to cocaine. He also refers to promiscuous intercourse, resurrection, and reincarnation. Siddhartha Gautama, eat your heart out.

304.       “Weed Song”: “We smokin’ while we smokin’.” That’s pot logic if I ever heard it. The trademark nerd voice comes out on this one, too. What does that mean he’s trying to say about smoking weed? In all likelihood, nothing.

305.       “Make Dough Like ’85”: Lil B was not alive in 1985.

306.       “My Game, My World”: I wasn’t listening.

307.       “Suck My D—k (3Remix)”: This song is kinda the s—t. Also it’s called a 3mix. 3MIX.

308.       “Just A Smile”: After a new age, Enya exposition, this song brings more than just a smile to the face. It brings belly laughs, too. “It might not feel rill, but it’s rill / Like poppin’ pills.” I could go for some Advil right now.

309.       “Don’t Think, Just Feel”: Ouch. This song is caustic it’s so raw and cutting. I’m imagining a black-and-white video of a chainlink fence and someone in a big hooded coat walking through the industrial slums.

310.       “Based Demons”: B is having a conversation with himself again. This is another motif of his: looking in the mirror. What an introspective guy. So BASED in heart and soul.

311.       “My D—k in Dirt”: Now it’s skateboarding? “I got a brain in my nose / Stupid f—ks.” Hmm. The word direction comes to mind. This is the freestyle rap equivalent of nonlinear film.

312.       “Cash Online”: Cuz all his [friends] have cash online. I guess this is impressive? That means, at least if they bank with an FDIC-ensured establishment, that they have a checking account. Something also tells me they all have $100k in said accounts.

313.       “Eat ‘Em B”: This is real, certified rhythm and poetry. Verses end with different words, flow occurs, and there is some form of narrative. Very well done, B. Let ‘em eat weed cake.

314.       “Can Your B—ch S—k D—k?”: A new rendition of “Does Your Chain Hang Low?”: unnecessarily vulgar and shamelessly crude. He advocates putting 28—well, you get the gist.

315.       “BasedWorld (Remix)”:  Words keep going by and I’m trying to stay caught up. This just goes to prove I’m not ready for the BasedWorld, not yet. Hopefully one day.

316.       “Haul Azz”: This song lays out exactly what it advertises: B wants booty, blow, and b—tches. And a hundred thousand dollars.

317.       “I’m Here”: “I used to be a little boy / In a big world / Now I see the light / See the light” On his MySpace, the BasedGod claims to be Catholic. Could this be his “one for Jesus”?

318.       “Who F—king Wit Me?”: This is not a test. This is a public service warning brought to you by Lil B that he will take you down no matter how you wrong him. Consider it a promise.

319.       “She Still S—tin’”: Another fellatio song. “B—ches s—k me like a motherf—kin’ dragon / She spits fire like a motherf—kin’ dragon!”

320.       “Call My Phone (Skit)”: Skits are funny and this skit is funny because how many times he feels obligated to use 100,000 in a minute and seven seconds.

321.       “We Ain’t Thugs”: Okay, we believe you. I guess? Doesn’t that fall high on your canon?

322.       “Myspace Dope I Love”:  B would never sing a love song to a woman, but he will to a tween networking site. “MySpace is my dope,” he croons, likening it to an addictive stimulant. This is apparently how he finds girls, too. Classy.

323.       “Based in Chi-Town”: Back 2 Tha Basics:  BJs and misogyny. And it’s the girls’ fault, ya know, cuz they in love with that juke s—t. Then, the music ends and he just lists other artists from Chicago…like two of them.

324.       “I Am The Ocean: Part 2”: Same as Part 1, but admit it, 676 sounds so much cleaner than 675.

325.       “Square One”: Coldplay did it. This is the one which should’ve been called Shout-Outs Part 1. He even gives it up to Carrboro-CH’s own Merge Records. We do know he loves that band The Suburbs.

326.       “I’m Raw”: On the minimalist side, this borders almost on instrumental. Very sparse verses when we do hear one. The beat can be perfectly summed up in one word, one prefix: sub-zero.

327.       “4 The B—ches”: To no one’s surprise, he’s securing a hundred thousand dollars for his, erm, b—ches. That way, the lyrics go, they will be more likely to give him sex. At some point, he started likening his oral sex to Pacman.

328.       “I’m Spitting Game”: Lil B says he wants to “be a six-figure”, then can’t think of something to rhyme with figure. …Really?

329.       “Don’t Sleep On Me”: Sounds like something you’d hear at your washed up neighbor’s Halloween haunted house party. Prompts me to shudder at the thought of running into Lil B at a costume party. If his love life is half as crazy as he brags, that party would put Eyes Wide Shut to shame.

330.       “Want To Be Me”: Who doesn’t want to be Lil B? The man is 19 and probably has a Guinness Record for world’s longest freestyle rap mixtape. That’s a tall order to meet. There might not be enough Adderall in all Chapel Hill to try.

331.       “Spark The World”: WOAH WOAH WOAH. He can’t just start talking about politics and “professional policies” like that. Give us some forewarning, please. Especially on the heels of a song about date rape at a Halloween party.

332.       “Who is Really Based?”: Dude sounds like that skinny creeper from The Sixth Sense who shoots Bruce Willis in the bathroom. Spoiler: He shoots himself, too. Oh, and B. B is Really Based. None other. Especially when he’s rapping about walking into a rusty old toolshed together to pray to the BasedGod.

333.       “F—k Dem B—ches (Remix)”: Another reminder to the haters that they can go f*** themselves. B is not afraid to be h8d, though he’s not surprised when everyone

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