Continuing on from my surprisingly well received previous festive match incident catalogues (thanks a lot for that, by the way!), this match day saw the arrival of the Toon Army to the old gal that is White Hart Lane. A summation of yesterday's match is hardly necessary; the words 'Anthony Taylor, you unrestrained imbecile!' spring to mind. But, in keeping with my Christmas pledge, blah blah, you get the drift.;) Newcastle, fresh from Mike Ashley's latest attempt at ensuring that the phrase 'Cockney Mafia' lives on long after the Guy Ritchie movies have been forgotten, arrived in North London in a blaze of anticipation, despite having seen their 2-1 win over Liverpool negated by a 3-1 defeat to City. Now managed by Alan Pardew, whose sole claim to fame is attempting a fist-fight with Arsene Wenger during his spell at West Ham a while back, the proud Geordies arrived full of hope that the morale-boosting win over mighty Liverpool would prove they could beat a lesser team like us. No one had the heart to inform them that, while they had been away, some distinctly unappealing things had happened to that team. Nevertheless, 90 minutes, two goals and only the second clean sheet of the season later, here's what I noticed from the game at hand.
)As you were, Private Palacios, as you were- 'Stupid boy' is the only thing that springs to mind in situations like this. Like Private Pike in Dad's Army, the sheer volatility of Palacios' contribution can be mind-numbingly frustrating sometimes. A day after I big him up and sing his praises to the known universe, the man goes out and puts in a 45-minute cameo that brings a whole new meaning to the phrase 'you shall not pass'. Not in a good way, either. My god, man, Paul the Octopus would display greater decision making ability when it comes to passes, and he was only in it for the molluscs. Why, man, why? You were so, so effortlessly brilliant the other day....and that's what makes it so frustrating. It's the knowledge that, on his day, he can be among the most fearsome defensive terriers in the Premiership. But 'on his day' is a vague term. It could also be used to say 'On his day, Arsene Wenger can be very gracious in defeat and accept that the responsibility lies squarely on his team's fragile little shoulders.' Both are improbable in the extreme. Come on, man, I know you have it in you, Villa away showed that. Why relapse now? Come on, I believe in you ,and so does every Spurs fan, we want to see you succeed. But for now, back to Poop Deck Palacios, I'm afraid.
)Jenius-well, not exactly, but Jolid, Jeliable Jentral Jidfielder Jenas sounds-well, like a horrid crime against all that is pure in the world. But, regardless of the horrific acronyms, JJ did well today. He filled in well for the Hapless Honduran(again, sorry, but the pun was just waiting to be made), made some great tackles, the one at the end to dispossess Carroll on the edge of the area as he was steamrollering towards goal, the one that set Modric off to tee up Bale for the second? The highlight was an impressive, striding attacking presence alongside being a stout defensive shield. Great game, good man, JJJJJ.
) Lightning strikes twice...-Second goal of the season for our Azza. He's just been getting better and better as the season has worn on, and looks like a truly frightening winger now, one who can both cut inside and leave a burning strips in the turf while the grounds man helplessly wrings his hands. Great goal from the man, Kaboul' through ball into his path making it all the sweeter, and could have gotten a second if he had been a mite more composed. Still, a great second half from Azza Blud.
)...and so do Welsh Wonders- 'Gareth, Gareth, give us a wave! Oh, bollocks, he's doing that heart thing again. Yes, yes, we heart you too Gareth...I swear, thirty seven times he's scored this season, and it's the same bloomin' celebration every time, I tell ya...' While this vision of mine might not necessarily come true, if the Wizard does score thirty-seven times at some point in the misty future, I hope they're all as good as this one was. On the overlap, modders looks up, one sweet little stroke into his path, he cuts inside, which was the key, then sees the man marking him floundering, cuts back outside, glides past the unfortunate Toon player and places the ball into the far corner with all the efficiency and accuracy of a brain surgeon. Wonderful goal, made all the harder due to the angle he took the shot at. See? That's what happens when you leave him without double markers, he creates beauty on the pitch. Not for you, opposition, but still, isn't that worth something? And to think Crouch nearly messed it all up by desperately trying to get a toe to it with his golf club of a foot. God knows where it would have ended up. Back over the penalty box, over the half-way line, and into Gomes' net, in all probability.;)
)Raging Bull- More like Headless Bull, but this will have to do. What the hell was the man thinking? The initial attempt to tell Tiote The Barbarian to calm the feck down was a good one. It was when Tiote pushed into his face that he loses all self control and tries to nut the man. He missed, (unfortunately-if you're going to get sent off for a head butt the least you can do is hit the goddamn target) the card came out, and he trudged off. Zidane he ain't. It is fortunate we had Bassong back, else we'd have to play Corluka at centre back, a prospect that for some reason fills me with a nameless fear. Whatever the outcome, it was a reckless, bullishly stupid thing to do, and Harry rightly pointed out that he may well lose his place over it in the post-match chinwag. If Bassong, Gallas or even Khumalo come in and do well, they're in the side for good, and he faces a long, hard slog to regain his place in this fiendishly competitive squad we now possess. Utter stupidity.
)Tiote The Barbarian- ...and he bestrode the fields like a colossus, hacking down his foes with brutality yet unheard of in these dark, murky ages, and lo! his name was Tiote the Barbarian, and he received...only a yellow card, for some incredible reason. I literally gagged when Pardew gratefully ushered him onto the bench. He shouldn't have been on the field in the first place, damnit! So, so many fouls. So many I'm not going to dignify them by naming any. Mainly because I forgot. But still. The point stands. How he was on the field only he, Newcastle's club secretary and Anthony Taylor's bank manager know.
)Wall of Steel- Our defence isn't at that lofty level yet, but they coped expertly well with the chances Newcastle created yesterday. Which was none. At all. Well, none to really test Gomes anyway. A surprisingly under-par Newcastle attack was easily muzzled by Daws and Kaboul, and then Daws and Bassong. Credit goes to Benny and Hutton as well, they had nothing much to do, but kept their composure for long periods. Yes, a few lapses here and there, but all small and easily rectified. Two good chances were all Newcastle had, one for Carroll, who headed over Gomes' bar, and the other for Tiote, who needlessly shot weakly when he could have squared to Carroll. Anyway, the defence will face harder tests than today, that's for sure. Let's hope the lads are ready.
)Christmas Carroll-was great, tormenting Liverpool and City. The Carroll that showed up today seemed distinctly hungover from the Christmas nosh. Not fast enough to the few loose balls we conceded around the ball, not reactive enough, and not sharp enough. He put in a lot of effort, and bullied our boys in the air, but without any real malice. If this is the Carroll we will be getting, perhaps it's better off waiting for a while till he grows more as a player. Summer, maybe.
)Newcastle-The verdict for Pardew's boys? What happened to the expansive, flowing football? They seem to have become distinctly pedestrian overnight. Come on, Pardew, these lads won the Championship by playing fluid, fast football. Let them do what they know best, because you're not making any friends(and evidently not gaining many points either) by adopting this approach. Liverpool can be beaten easily enough, but we exposed the flaws today. Hopefully for them it's just a temporary reaction to playing two games in three days. Still, they should have enough to stay up this season.
0) news to gladden any Tottenham supporter's heart-Harry was interviewed by Talksport after the game today. When asked about transfers, he stated that Levy wants him to spend some big money to bring a great player in, but he himself doesn't want to splurge unless it's on a proven performer. When Talksport pressed on him on Scotty Parker, he laughed, said he would be glad to have him, but he wasn't for sale. Harry, however, brought up one name of his own accord, without prompting- Edin Dzeko. He said he would cost around 30 million pounds, that that was a lot of money, and that while it was a lot to spend on an unproven player in the Premier League, he hinted at being interested. Perhaps, just perhaps, it could be? We could beat City to a signing, I'm salivating...;)
1)Verdict- another sending off, another two goals, another three points, and a novelty unheard of in these parts-a clean sheet. What? A clean sheet? Blasphemy! These things only exist in mythology, and in distant memories of muddy night`s and men called 'Graham'....;) Nevertheless, it's happened. And what gladdens me most this festive period? Grit. We have it. At long last. We have a hell of a lot of it. We have so much of it we're practically a dirt-bike track. We have discipline, determination, the right amount of aggression, and the pace, power and punch to go with our expansive football. The past two weeks have been the most committed performances by us I've seen in the Premier League this season. Well done, well done lads. Keep it going, no fear. Everton and Fulham up next. Should be six points. If we can get those, it would be a wondrous wishful winter indeed. Daws being back had added immensely to our resolve, no doubt about it. Now, we need to use that resolve, and never-say-die spirit, and put some ground between ourselves and the other challengers for fourth spot, and possibly, just possibly (dare I dream?) the title.
eep believing. Happy New Year, and Coys!
.S: That one was for Chris Hughton, Ashley, you turd.
Vital Broadcasting talks to Clive Tyldesley!
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