Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Plenty of painful tales from the world of sport

NEVER LET it be said that 'Inside Right' isn't willing to suffer for the cause, lay his body on the line and take a right good battering, all in the name of sport.

You might think it's only players that suffer the bumps, bruises, sprains and breaks but being a supporter can also be a dangerous pursuit, fraught with all sorts of unexpected dangers.

To tell our tale of pain and woe we have to rewind to the day of the Leinster football final when 'Inside Right', whilst sitting in the back seat, stretched just a bit little too far to grab a bag from the boot of the car - the traditional method of just opening up the boot seemed just a little bit too handy.

Anyway to cut a long story short by Tuesday morning, after a restless night, the left shoulder was in agony and by the end of a tiring day's work it had subsided by about three inches.

Yours truly thought dropping your shoulder was something you did to bamboozle a cumbersome centre-half, not a painful affliction that makes you looks like a gruesome performer in a crazy circus sideshow.

The whole sorry episode got 'Inside Right' pondering freak injuries in the world of sport and coincidentally whilst penning this piece news has just broken about Conal Keaney's unfortunate motorbike accident.

You'd be surprised at the number of peculiar traumas that have befallen sporting superstars - from the downright stupid to the utterly horrendous.

Soccer players feature highly on our list of shameful clangers, not to suggest that they're lacking in the brains department or anything - well maybe just a small bit.

Our first player worthy of a mention is legendary Manchester United goalkeeper Alex Stepney who suffered a broken jaw. What's so unusual about that you may ask?

Well when I tell you its because he yelled so hard you'll get the picture.

If it's blatantly brainless you're looking for you'd go a long way before finding something to surpass the dumbness of former Aston Villa and Manchester City striker Darius Vassell.

The frontman, who now plies his trade with Leicester City, was guilty of a mindless, self-inflicted injury. Dim-witted Darius, on finding a blood blister under the toenail on his big toe, decided to drain the annoying bugger using a power drill.

Unsurprisingly his attempt at amateur surgery didn't meet the required hospital standards and he picked up an infection.

'Inside Right' is in good company when it comes to overstretching as exArsenal great David Seaman pulled a muscle in his back whilst reaching for his television remote and Robbie Keane showed just how dangerous flicking channels can be when he ruptured his knee cartilage doing the same thing.

Middlesbrough striker Leroy Lita illustrated that nowhere is a safe haven from the dangers of muscle strain when he suffered an injury whilst stretching after waking up in bed, while in 2001 Rio Ferdinand somehow managed to damage his knee sitting on the sofa with his feet up on the coffee table.

Goalkeepers seem to be particularly prone to peculiar mishaps because as well as Seaman and Stepney we couldn't go without giving Dave Beasant and Santiago Canizares an honourable mention.

Canizares was all set to be Spain's goalkeeper at the 2002 World Cup after being second choice in the previous tournament before none other than a bottle of aftershave ruled him out of the squad (the Brut).

He accidentally smashed the bottle and a shard of glass severed a tendon in his right foot.

Meanwhile, Beasant's goalkeeping skills obviously let him down in 1993 as he injured his foot as he attempted to prevent a jar of salad cream that he had fumbled from hitting the floor.

Arsenal's Steve Morrow went from pleasure to pain in an instant thanks to Gunners' team captain Tony Adams who handled his team-mate with far less care than the League Cup trophy after their final win in 1993.

Morrow scored the winner in a 2-1 success against Sheffield Wednesday but was soon writhing in agony when he broke his arm, having been dropped by Adams in the post-match celebrations.

Perry Groves was another Arsenal man to suffer a strange injury, and he wasn't even on the field of play. Groves was sitting on the bench and when his side scored he jumped up to celebrate only to hit his head on the roof of the dugout, knocking himself out cold in the process.

David Beckham felt the full wrath of Alex Ferguson and needed stitches above his left eye following a dressing room incident after Arsenal's 2-0 FA Cup win at Old Trafford in 2003. The injury was caused by the Scot kicking a football boot at him.

Probably the most bizarre injury 'Inside Right' has encountered involved Norwegian defender Svein Grondalen who was forced to withdraw from an international fixture after he collided with a moose when he was out jogging. Not one you hear about every day of the week.

Now, as promised, something a little more gruesome from the world of soccer, the story of a football player who had his finger ripped off as he celebrated a goal.

Paulo Diogo, a midfielder with Switzerland's Servette, leapt onto a perimeter fence after setting up a goal in his side's 4-1 win over Schafthausen.

Unfortunately his celebrations were cut short when he caught his wedding ring on the top of the fence, severing the top two joints of the finger as he jumped back down.

Doctors were unable to re-attach the finger joints and the player had the remaining part of his finger amputated. To literally add insult to injury he was also shown a yellow card for his excessive celebration.

Switching codes, to show crazy injuries aren't exclusive to the world of soccer we'll tell you the story of ice hockey goalie Glenn Healy, who also enjoyed playing the bagpipes. In 2000, while on the books of the Maple Leafs, Healy needed stitches after slicing himself while repairing an antique set of pipes.

Even the normally gentile tennis courts aren't immune from calamitous injuries as Goran Ivanisevic showed when partnering Mark Philippoussis in a doubles match.

The Croat, who was paired at a tournament in Toronto with Philippoussis, decided to head the ball over the net at the same time the Aussie took the more traditional route of playing the shot with his racket.

Their heads clashed and they both dropped to the ground like a lead balloon, with Ivanisevic requiring stitches and Philippoussis suffering concussion.

There's plenty more painful sporting episodes out there but we'll leave those anecdotes for another day as these toecurling tales are giving 'Inside Right' a pain in the neck (literally). Time for a massage!

Source: http://www.enniscorthyguardian.ie

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