Rihanna battles Christina Aguilera and Katy Perry faces Jewel in Vs, Disney turns to Britney and Justin for aid, Madonna wants help, Mariah’s a diva, 5 things about Cassie, Santa’s Little Helpers are your "& 1" Models of the Week and more!
Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, those of you who are undecided, I'm your host Adam Hill and this is the place to be for the hottest new tracks, even hotter women and a smorgasbord of music news and gossip. Welcome, to the column Ke$ha fans voted the Number 1 read on the internet, this, is The Music 5 & 1
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I hope you guys are all ready for Christmas, got your presents all bought and wrapped. If you don't celebrate Christmas, I hope you're looking forward to the holiday season none the less. If you hate Christmas, well I'm sorry, I hope some pictures of hot women dressed as Santa will help take the pain away.
I'm going to level with you guys, there's not been a lot of good news out there this week, so this could end up being quite short. We'll see where we end up.
I'll be here next week as well, but again, I don't imagine there will be much going on so I'm planning on a year-end column (i.e. even more music and hot chicks than normal, there may be some writing though, just a little). Mitch and I will also be around next week with the mammoth 411 Music Year In Review feature. Between us we'll be looking at the Staff's thoughts on 2010, our top reviewed albums, tributes to musicians we have lost and of course, the hottest babes of the year too. Keep your eyes peeled for that on Monday.
Speaking of features, I hope you've been checking out 411's Albums of the Year feature. Brian Berry has done a sterling job pulling it all together. Part 3 (where we reveal our #1 album) goes up today and go check out Part 1 and Part 2 if you haven't already done so. Tomorrow, you should get to find out how we all voted, so if you don't agree with the committee's choice, you won't have long to wait and find out who you should be holding individually responsible.
Ready? Let's do this.
"I'm a strong woman who works extremely hard to be able to have my life the way I want it. So, if that makes me a diva, then okay."
Mariah Carey responding to the question of whether or not she is a diva during an interview with Pride magazine. Translation, ‘fuck off, I can do what I want because I'm Mariah fucking Carey, bitch'. Fair enough.
She was also asked who, of the new breed of divas, she admires. She replied, "I don't really follow every new act — they come out constantly. There are so many, it's often hard to keep track, and sometimes they're here today and gone tomorrow."
BURN!
Katy Perry marches on, Kylie Minogue ran her close, but ultimately it was the boobs what won it, 17-13. A couple of weeks ago, in Mitch 's Quick and Dirty News , he put Jewel up against Katy and she did really well. This got me thinking, would she do quite so well in a formal Vs match-up? Let's find out. FIGHT!
Vida Guerra comfortably dispatched Gloria Velez last week, 20 - 3. This week, both Rihanna and Christina Aguilera have been criticized for recent racy performances on the X-Factor , but which one is sexier? It's up to you. FIGHT!
Don't forget, you can always suggest future participants in Vs either via the comments section or by e-mail at adfunk101@gmail.com.
I got a couple of responses to my piece about Miley Cyrus taking a hit from the bong so I thought I'd dust off the old reader feedback section and take a look at what was said.
"Katy and Vida.
And I think you are missing one point about Miley. She isn't "supposed" to be a role model because she is famous. She is supposed to be one because she is only famous because she created her image as the good girl on DISNEY! Using a comparison to Lennon to show hypocrisy proves that you missed this point. If Lennon was a child star on a Disney show then he would be chastised just as much if he turned into the partier that Miley is (and let's not forget that MANY conservative people called the Beatles the devil, etc).
Miley has a responsibility as a role model because she built her career on that. Yes, it is sad that adults let children watch tv and have expectations. Yet, people like Miley exploit that ignorance and use it to make a dollar. Therefore, I agree with the argument that she should maintain that image since that is what gave her the life she has. It is the much harder road.
This is a fair point and well made. I totally get what you mean about building a career on her good girl Disney image and yes, I guess she does have some degree of responsibility to her young fans who look up to her. But what I don't understand is how long will she have to live up to that image? Until this generation of kids grows up and forgets who she was?
She is growing up and moving on, she's acting like most of her fans will at the same age but she's getting a kicking for it. Is the issue that she's doing these things, or that she's doing them and people are making it public? I don't know the answer, but it looks to me like she is just growing up and experiencing life in the same way all her friends are. I guess she can't though because of the life she chose, or had chosen for her.
"John Lennon, in heaven or hell, depends either on his statement about the Beatles being bigger than Jesus or for telling the whole world to give "peace" a chance: "Whoa, there, why are you comparing me to her? She's just a singer. I'm not knocking her, but you can't compare her to me. I was part of the biggest band in history. I spent time with the Dalia Lama before it was the hip thing to do. I was willing to have a child with Yoko Ono, for Christ's sake. There's no comparison. What has she's done that has made the world a better place? She's just a singer. Simple as that."
Sorry, I wasn't comparing Miley Cyrus to John Lennon musically, not even I am that big of an idiot. I was comparing the negative media reaction to her extra-curricular activities to the media love-in over Lennon, who got up to far worse. However, as Billy Ray pointed out above, at the time, Lennon wasn't as universally adored as he is now, so that comparison wasn't really right ether.
Great comments both of you though, thanks for joining in and adding a touch of class and intelligence to my ramblings.
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Before we learn all about Cassie , I have a little bit of business to tidy up from last week's 5 Things about Nicki Minaj , as a glaring error was pointed out.
"5) As well as releasing her debut album Pink Friday this year, she has also appeared on about a million other records, and in October, she became the first artist to have seven songs on the Billboard Hot 100 chart simultaneously."
The Beatles and their 14 songs on the Hot 100 the week of April 11, 1964 all say hi.
Greg, you were spot on with that one. I got that stat from a story which MTV ran a while back and I can only assume they meant she was the first female rapper to have seven songs on the chart simultaneously, though it isn't clear. As you say, it can't be 'artist' as the Beatles destroy her seven entries, and it can't be 'female' or 'female solo artist' as, for the week of November 13, 2010, Taylor Swift had eleven singles on the Hot 100. So, my bad for not double checking a stat and good catch point to it out.
Onto Cassie!
1) Casandra Ventura was born August 26, 1986 in New London, Connecticut.
2) She hooked up with producer Ryan Leslie after he spotted her at clubs and parties in late 2004.
3) Music exec Tommy Mottola offered Cassie her first management deal after hearing "Kiss Me", a duet she wrote with Leslie.
4) Whilst promoting her debut album, Cassie in 2006, she performed on Total Request Live and 106 & Park: BET's Top 10 Live. By her own admission the performances were "pretty bad" though she claimed she was "still getting over stage fright"
5) Her second album, Electro Love has been delayed a number of times after the commercial failure of lead singles, "Official Girl", "Must Be Love" and "Let's Get Crazy".
You learn something new every day.
Christmas is nearly upon us, so here is a little gift from me to you. Lingerie company, La Senza is advertising their undies with a Cup Size Choir . The models each sing a note based on their cup size, ranging from A-E, to make a Christmas song. Carols never looked so good.
These are the stories that didn't quite make the cut when I put the column together. I'll drop a quick synopsis, or joke, about each story and from time to time I'll also include some made up news, just for fun.
Kings of Leon postpone London show after their tour bus catches fire.
No word yet on speculation that the fire was started by pigeons.
Shania Twain is engaged, to the ex-husband of the woman her ex-husband left her for.
Expect a new release from Shania very soon, there's enough material there for a whole country album!
Lady Gaga was groped by a fan outside her hotel in Paris.
The female fan grabbed Gaga's right breast. It was a very subtle protest against Gaga, who she thinks is a ‘right tit'.
I have no idea why, but Gaga always seems to inspire my very worst jokes.
Translation, its rubbish and we need to re-write it pretty damn quickly. Also, it will allow the star to recover from a 30ft fall when, reportedly, his harness broke during a preview performance.
It's time to crank this mother up to 11 as we take a look at 5 news stories from the last week and one, smoking, hottie.
According to the Daily Mail , both Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears have been asked to act as mentors to young actors and actresses working for Disney. No doubt inspired to act after Demi Lovato 's voluntary admission into rehab, the House of Mouse has jumped into life and is rumored to have made representations to the former stars of The Mickey Mouse Club .
Apparently, an insider at the studio told the paper that "Justin and Britney have been asked if they would like to come in and speak to their younger counterparts about the tribulations of being famous so young. The Disney bosses think that if they have people to look up to they might stay on the straight and narrow."
Obviously there are thousands of jokes that could be made about getting life advice from Britney Spears, so many in fact that my head is currently aching from trying to work out which one to use. When you look a bit deeper though, using Britney actually makes a lot of sense. She is currently in the process of (hopefully) coming out of a really messy period in her life. She had it all, made some dodgy decisions, and didn't have anyone around who could/would tell her 'no' when she was going too far. She knows firsthand how life can get when you lose control and is an ideal person to talk to new young stars about what it's like growing up in that environment.
How long before Miley is involved?
After a couple of years counting her cash and adopting Africa, it would appear that Madonna is on the cusp of a return to the music world. At least, if her Facebook page is to be believed that is.
She wrote: "It's official! I need to move. I need to sweat. I need to make new music! Music I can dance to. I'm on the lookout for the maddest, sickest, most badass people to collaborate with. I'm just saying."
We don't yet know who she has in mind but I would love it if she was talking about Die Antwoord . She probably means will.i.am though. Sigh.
Also, am I alone in wishing she would stop trying to be the most cutting edge artist around, just concentrate on making decent music (which she is more than capable of) and stop flashing her bikini wax at us at every opportunity?
There were two stories out this week about a couple of major Lotharios in the music world. Justin Bieber and Gene Simmons , though it is safe to say they were on slightly different ends of the scale.
The Bieb was talking to Heat magazine and claimed, "I've kissed a lot of girls" . What a man. He went on, "I've had a couple of girlfriends. I started dating girls a bit when I was like, 13... It's not that young. I've kissed a lot of girls since."
No doubt he has a diary with the date marked with an asterisk each time he got a kiss. What? No, I definitely didn't do that as a kid, ever.
Moving swiftly on, he also claimed that, if given half the chance, he'd be inside Kim Kardashian like a rat up a drainpipe. Ok, perhaps he wasn't quite so explicit but you know damn well he would. He actually said, "I think she's cute. She's not too old for me! Above 40 is too old for me."
Despite the fact that I literally just made it up, the Bieber ‘make-out' diary sounds a bit like a forerunner to behavior like that of one of music's greatest cocksmith's, Gene Simmons. Apparently Simmons has proof that he has bedded over 5,000 women, as during his 37-years of touring, he took Polaroid's of each of the ladies he got down and dirty with.
And to think, he started out with a dairy marked up with every time he kissed a girl.
After making one of the albums of the year (#29 on the 411 countdown), Avenged Sevonfold are once again looking for a new drummer. Mike Portnoy has announced that he is leaving, though according to the band, that was always the plan. The band commented, "when Mike agreed to tour with us, it was only through the end of 2010. We always knew we'd need to find another solution for 2011 and beyond. And it's time for us to take that next step. The world and we would always see it as 'Avenged Sevenfold with Mike Portnoy'. We take a lot of pride in Avenged Sevenfold being about something greater than any individuals."
While A7X have lost a band member, Velvet Revolver have reportedly found a new one. According to drummer Matt Sorum , the band has, after two years of looking, found a new singer.
Sorum said, "We can't make the announcement yet because we're 'dating,' you know. We haven't consummated the relationship, we haven't sat down this gentleman and made the agreement together. I know it's been like this long-winded, 'Oh, Velvet Revolver this, Velvet Revolver that.' We're tired of it, believe me. But we don't have the ability to just jump out there with any singer. We can't do it."
He added that the singer is a "known guy" and that he is "younger and stronger" .
Any guesses who it is? Could it be the Bieb?
It's Wednesday, it's Christmas week on the 5&1, so that must mean it's time for some cracking holiday songs.
"Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!" – Dean Martin
"Baby, It's Cold Outside" – Tom Jones & Cerys Matthews.
The greatest Christmas song of all time is, of course, "Fairytale of New York" – The Pogues and Kirsty McColl,
Now it's time for the reason you're here, the ‘&1 Model of the Week'.
It's Christmas week so here are a bunch of hot chicks dressed like Santa and Santa's little helpers, just for you, as your & Many Models of the Week .
Don't forget to comment on what you liked and didn't like and if you have any suggestions for future features or have heard a juicy story on the music grapevine. You can even e-mail me at adfunk101@gmail.com.
And with that, I'm outta here, I'll see you in seven, happy holidays!
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